


A Heart For Keith

by beegnostalgic



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Florist Allura, Florist Lance, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Nonbinary Pidge | Katie Holt, Past Relationship(s), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Shiro (Voltron) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Slow Build, Slow Burn, former established relationship - Freeform, ptsd mention
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-07-29 00:42:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7663510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beegnostalgic/pseuds/beegnostalgic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you lose someone you love, it can be hard to move on. When you meet people just as damaged as you are, then you can find equal ground.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: Let Him Have This

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write something a little sad a little redeeming and a little soul searching and this is the result of that? I plan for the rest of the chapters to be focused around Keith and Lance as that is the main pairing of this fic, but there are going to be a lot of flashbacks to Keith and Shiro and their former relationship. In this story everyone is aged up, but the age differences between everyone remain the same. Keith is 21 at the beginning of this, Shiro is 27, Pidge is 16 etc. Keith has a heart condition which will be brought up more later, this chapter is just to establish backstory for why Keith is the way he is for the rest of the fic. I apologize for the formatting here, I'm still getting used to how this website works and will be adjusting it often!

**December 20th 8:59 pm**

**Keith's Shared Apartment**

****Keith stood on the curb of his apartment, blowing hot air onto his chilled fingers, because style over practicality caused him to go with fingerless gloves again this year. Shiro was almost late, which honestly wasn’t unusual for him, but it didn’t make difference because Keith felt like this night was important, maybe the most important night of his life.

     And any minute now Shiro would turn the corner with that perfect smile, all teeth, and Keith wouldn’t even remember that he was late. 

     Keith had woken up from a nap a few hours earlier with a sense of dread he couldn’t shake and spent the entire time getting ready for his date in a worry. What if Pidge had been wrong? What if he was getting himself so excited for a proposal and it wasn’t actually coming? 

     The idea made his foolish heart sink and he reminded himself of his age. Keith was only 21 after all, he had his whole life to get proposed to, or at least his whole life to get proposed to as long as it was Shiro, his perfect amazingly late air force boyfriend. Keith pulled his hood a little tighter against the snow that just started to fall and looked at his watch.

     It was 9:05 and Shiro was officially late. A minute or two more passed and sure enough, there was Shiro turning the corner bright smile right at Keith and he felt same the butterflies as when he first saw it. Shiro adjusted his jacket and red scarf and he walked over to meet Keith. Slowly the dread faded and all Keith could feel were the two big strong arms around him.

 

     “I’m sorry, I know I’m late, but I had to deal with last minute arrangements for tomorrow.” a whisper followed by a kiss on the cheek. Keith usually liked Shiro’s whispered words but not when it reminded him about the next day. 

 

     “I don’t like thinking about you leaving so soon.” Keith whispered back looking down at Shiro’s chest when they finally parted.

     “Hey” Shiro spoke softly placing his hand on Keith’s chin to tilt his face up. “It’ll only be a few months, I’m barely going to be off the main base so don’t worry. I’m going to make tonight worth it anyway.” 

     Keith smiled and when they kissed everything felt so right. Shiro rubbed warmth into Keith’s hands before leading him off to begin what he referred to as “the date to end all dates.”

 

 

     “I can’t believe you remember this place, we’ve only had a few dates here.”Keith laughed while looking around the tiny cafe, it was late and they were the only ones in there. Shiro nodded at the woman behind the counter, and she winked. He’d been there so many times on his own that the staff remembered him. 

     “Maybe not a lot of dates, but we had our first date here. Do you remember?” Shiro leaned back to that the waiter could bring over their orders. Two frozen hot chocolates. Keith twirled his straw. 

   “Yeah I remember, you had told me that you unironically liked the movie _Serendipity_ and I told you that it was dumb but the idea of frozen hot chocolate sounded good, and so you took me here” Keith shook his head thinking about how dumb the movie _Serendipity_ was, at least to him as someone who didn’t believe in fate or destiny. 

     He had always thought it was foolish of Kate Beckinsale’s character to never give her name or number to someone and just _hope_ they’d find each other again. That she was only lucky enough that John Cusack’s character was so stubborn that he searched everywhere for her, and never stopped looking until he found her. 

Blinking up at Shiro, Keith didn’t have a doubt in his mind that Shiro would do that for him.

 

“I would think the movie’s grown on you by now? We’ve seen it dozens of times.” Keith pointed his straw aggressively at Shiro.

 

“I was _forced_ to watch it dozens of times!” Shiro only responded by laughing and putting his hands up defensively.

 

     “Hey not all of us want to watch _Armageddon_ over and over again either but I don’t complain.” 

     Keith didn’t dignify that with a response, if oil drillers turned space pilots stopping an asteroid from destroying the earth didn’t sound like perfect cinema then Keith just didn’t know _anything_ anymore! 

     Instead, he continued eating what was basically a frozen milkshake while quietly humming the chorus of _Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing._ Shiro placed a hand over his.

 

 “What did the doctor say today?” They locked eyes for a moment before Keith broke first, placing a hand over his chest instinctively and waiting a few seconds before answering. 

 

     “Everything seems normal, he wrote me a new prescription because I told him how the other ones were making me sleep too much, and he reminded me not to get “too excited” or “push myself too hard.” So you know I’m no fun Keith for a while” Shiro’s hand tightened over Keith’s and said very seriously. 

 

“I’m familiar with no fun Keith, he’s not a bad guy” and Keith pulled his arm back and scowled.

 

“You’re the worst,” he was mumbling and Shiro was shaking his head. 

     These were the moments that Keith wanted to always remember, they were pure and he felt so happy. Keith wished that he could do more though. 

     He wished they could travel or go to amusement parks or other simple things, but Shiro was worried that Keith would have an episode and be too far from his primary care doctor. Keith used to hate how Shiro babied him, 6 years isn't _that_ much of an age gap after all, but now he was guilty of doing the same to Shiro. 

     Constantly asking him if he was taking his vitamins everyday because he was getting older in years and really needed to watch what he ate these days. Or Keith would ask how his right arm felt, since that shoulder always seized up whenever Shiro worked out, and every time Shiro would fake being mad at Keith for calling him an old man, but at the end of the day they’d laugh about it cause they were both a little bit broken. Keith would remind him to take his anxiety medication and Shiro would remind him to take his blood thinners. They needed each other. 

 

      “You don’t really think that. You want to spend the rest of your life with me.” Shiro said suddenly and Keith looked up at him, blush red on his neck. 

     He scoffed, but thought about it. How many times did Shiro brush away tears from his face? How many times did Keith let his temper get the better of him and blow up at the people around him for little to no reason? How many times did Shiro look him in the eyes and forgive him? Keith looked at Shiro, with his greying hair and his work scars and the perfect smile in the face of danger and the PTSD that woke them both up in the middle of the night. 

     Keith loved him. But he also loved to tease him. 

“How can you be so sure of that?”

 

     “Because I want to spend the rest of mine with you, and I’m a pretty hopeful guy.” Shiro was quick to respond and pulled out something from his pocket, a small velvet box and Keith bit his lip because he didn’t want to be _that_ guy, the one that says “yes” way too quickly. 

     Shiro opened the box, leaning over towards Keith. Inside Keith could see a small glistening band with tiny red and clear stones, he looked down at it and then look ed up again. The speech was coming, he knew the speech was coming and he wanted to absorb every single word. 

 

      “Keith Kogane, you snore in your sleep, you take everything too seriously including yourself, but I love it. I love your laugh, how you aren’t alive in the morning without your coffee, and how you light up when you talk about something you care a lot about. I love that we went to the Bahamas on vacation and you got a sunburn so bad you didn’t want to leave the hotel, I think it’s crazy how you never want to plan anything out and you’d sooner rush into chaos and danger without thinking but at the same time it always works out. Like the time you told me to just get in the car and we drove all the way out of town because you wanted to prove that you could see Hercules out there. And you were right. I want everyday for the rest of my life to be like that one.” Shiro took a breath, his hands were shaking and he was nearly rambling but Keith wanted so badly to let him finish.

 

Keith remembered that night under the stars perfectly, he had “borrowed” a sports car from the garage where he worked, a Nissan Silvia S15. 

     Keith loved that car, it was a beautiful car.

     He picked Shiro up without telling him where they were going. As soon as Keith was out of the city he sped up, it was just the two of them and a dark road as far as the eye could see. He remembered not slowing his speed until the barometer read 160 mph, they were both yelling with both windows down and Keith remembered Shiro looking almost genuinely frightened and at the last minute he changed gears and let the car turn and drift to a graceful stop on the side of the road. 

     Keith made Shiro get out on the car and climbed to the roof to show him what they had driven all the way out there to see, the stars. They laid out on that car talking about the stars and each other for hours. It didn’t even matter how long it was, as long as the two of them were together. 

     That night Shiro said “I feel like I’m lost when I’m with you but it’s okay. Like I’m not anywhere I’ve ever been before but I am safe.” and Keith rolled his eyes and jokingly responded “Yeah welcome to wonderland, we’re all mad here.” Shiro grabbed Keith’s chin in his hands and pulled him close before whispering “Your body is a wonderland” and Keith pushed him off the car. 

     He was given no choice, you can’t just seriously quote John Meyer like that in the middle of a moment.

Keith smiled at the memory of it, listening as Shiro continued. 

 

     “I know you’re an amazing guy, and you’re going to make someone so happy someday, I just want so badly for that someone to be me. So what do you think?” Keith was blurting out yes the second he could hear the question. 

     He wanted this. Never in his life did he want to have something so bad. And he hoped, for once, in spite of his terrible luck in the past, he could have something good. Shiro put the ring on his finger, and Keith was happy. Then Shiro pulled out two plane tickets for his flight tomorrow.   

 

“Also take off for work because you’re coming to spend Christmas with me and the Holts. I know you have to work but I’m not spending Christmas apart from my fiancé, actually can you call them tonight and say you’re leaving with me tomorrow morning?” Keith laughed thinking about it, the spontaneity and the surprise.

     Everything was just so perfect. 

Keith nodded, he knew everyone at his garage for years, it was the very first place he went after he finished school. He did custom car work including engine repair, custom paint jobs, and modifications on both bikes and cars. 

     Basically Keith was the main man you saw if you wanted to pimp your ride. But the good thing about knowing your mechanics for years on end, is that they’ll look out for you. And they won’t fire you if you get engaged and decide to go out of town for a week. As long as you promise to be back at the start of the new year. 

 

**December 25th 10am**

**Christmas With the Holts**

 

“It’s Christmas babe” Keith heard Shiro’s voice, but just snuggled deeper in the blankets.

 

     “Babe it’s gonna be christmas all day get back to bed” he mumbled trying to reach out for Shiro with his eyes still closed and failing to find him. Shiro laughed quietly. 

 

“Come on don’t you want to see what Santa left you?” Keith snorted

 

“Don’t patronize me grandpa, get back into bed you’re letting the cold out.” Shiro pulled the blankets off, because he is a demon from hell and liked to see Keith suffer.

  “YOU SON OF A bitch, it’s cold.” Well Keith was up now, eyes open, trying to rip the guest room comforter from Shiro’s hand. In the other hand Keith was offered a mug of coffee.

“The whole family is already up except for you and they’re waiting to open gifts, so put some pants on.” Shiro smiled down at him and tried to turn when Keith finally took the cup reluctantly from his hands. Keith grabbed him so he couldn’t leave. 

“You have to pay the toll first” 

“Oh come on, you haven’t even brushed your teeth yet” Keith looked at him skeptically and held up his ringed finger. 

“Since when has that ever mattered to you?” 

“Good point.” Shiro kissed him gently on the lips and when he parted slapped Keith right on his bottom before running off and calling that he’d see him downstairs. 

 

      The Holts had started opening presents by the time Keith finally got downstairs, Alice Holt handed him a second glass of coffee and kissed his forehead like she always did. 

     They were around the fire because it was freezing outside and Keith joined Shiro on the couch as he watched. Pidge had gotten a video camera and was filming everyone opening presents. They wouldn’t take the camera off Keith and Shiro. Keith was getting annoyed. 

“Seriously Pidge why are you filming this?” They just laughed behind a mouth full of braces and kept the camera on them.

“Because I have video of all of the family but you Keith,” He rolled his eyes and turned to Shiro. 

“This doesn’t bother you?” He shook his head, wrapping paper all over his lap from opened presents and different colored ribbons. 

“Don’t you want to see what I got you for Christmas?” Keith shook his head and brought Shiro’s hand to his lips to kiss it. 

“I don’t need anything from you, I’m just happy to be here.” Pidge made a gagging sound from behind the camera and Keith turned to them like he was going to grab it from them. The Holts laughed, and Shiro laughed, as Keith tried to chase Pidge around the Christmas tree, threatening to take back the new playstation him and Shiro bought back to the store. 

Before he got too winded and had to sit down. Shiro put and arm around him. 

"Your heart's beating really fast."

"I'm alright, going up and down stairs doesn't help, you know that." Shiro nodded and swept Keith's sweaty bangs from his forehead.

"When we get a new place, I want to try and find something without stairs"

 

**December 31st 11:45pm**

**The Balcony of Some Town Party**

 

     Shiro had his arm around Keith, it was freezing, but they were looking at the stars outside. In one hand Shiro held hot chocolate as they squeezed onto the bench on the balcony. Keith was shivering, but he had insisted on sitting outside. 

“Babe you forgot to bring a scarf again didn’t you?”

“I’m fine.” Shiro took off his red scarf and wrapped it around Keith anyway, and Keith didn’t protest against the gesture. 

 

     “You go home tomorrow, do you think you’ll manage to survive without me for a few months?” Shiro almost sounded genuine with his question and Keith laughed.

     “I think I’ll manage” he said finally turning back to look up at the stars and have another sip of coffee. It was comfortably quiet for a minute before Shiro spoke again. 

“What do you want to accomplish next year?” Shiro asked while distractedly nuzzling into Keith’s shoulder. Keith tried to playfully shove him off. 

     “I don’t know, I guess I have to plan a wedding now. I’d like to save some money after that. Maybe open my own shop by this time next year.” Keith had a sort of dreamy far away sound to his voice, like he wasn’t sure what he wanted to do but the possibilities were endless. “What do you want to accomplish?” 

 

“I’ve been thinking about retiring actually.” Keith pulled away to look at him seriously. 

“Really? I thought you loved this.” Keith made a gesture to the air but Shiro knew what he meant.

 

“I love flying, but I never loved this.” Shiro made the same gesture with a laugh in his throat. 

     “I was thinking about going back to school and becoming a teacher? I don’t know, it might be nice I think.” He had the same far away dreamy voice that Keith had. Keith smiled and curled closer to him.

“You were always good with kids, much better than me at least, and it would be nice to not have to worry about you in the field. I know you say you never do combat anymore, but just having you away from home at the base…you know I don’t like it.” Shiro nodded, it was a good idea at least. He figured he’d probably be pretty good with kids. 

 

**January 27th 10:45 am**

**Keith's Empty Apartment**

****Timezones were the worst, and while Keith didn’t get to video chat with his boyfriend, no his fiancé, all that often but he did get to enjoy early morning voicemails. Every morning he’d roll out of bed, messy hair and boxers, go into the kitchen to make himself some coffee and press play on his phone just so the first thing he could hear in the mornings was Shiro’s voice.

“Good morning babe, settling in for bed now. Today was a mess, had to yell at some cadets for stupid things today. You know I hate yelling. I was thinking after I get back we talk about moving back out to my home town? There’s a base there and it would be nice to work closer to home, near the Holts. I know Katie and Matt want to see you again, they’re like family Keith, it’s wrong to only see them on major holidays.” 

     Keith smiled thinking about Pidge and their brother Matt who he’d gotten so fond of. Pidge would be 16 soon and was still trying to get Keith to go to prom with them while he was still just barely young enough. 

     Pidge thought it would be funny, Keith said it sounded a bit awkward.

     Shiro’s voice continued. “Thank god I have my own cabin here, perks of being a general, but I could not handle how much grief the guys would give me for how often I tell you I miss you in these calls. But yeah, I miss you. I bet you’re drinking out of my coffee mug again. Do you even use the one I got for you?” 

     His laugh echoes on the phone and Keith lifts the black “I like my coffee like I like my men, ARMY STRONG” mug to his mouth, coffee just tastes better in Shiro’s mug.

     “Don’t forget to take your medicine, and we really have to talk about this Katie prom thing, because I think it would be super cute if you went. Anyway I have to cut this call short, have to be up early, tomorrow we have a flight testrun and other normal boring work stuff. I love you, good night.”

     Keith quietly whispered a “goodnight Shiro” of his own. Keith set down his mug, and hovered his finger over the delete button before deciding his phone memory could handle one more save file. 

     He fought the urge to call back right away to leave his message, but he knew that it was better to wait until he actually did something that day. Keith ran a hand through his dark hair, it was getting pretty long, and tied it up in a ponytail. He brushed his teeth, showered and got dressed. He didn’t have to be at the garage for a few more hours so he started cleaning the apartment. 

 

**January 27th 1:00 pm**

 

Keith heard a knock on the door, he was supposed to be heading to work soon and wasn’t expecting company so that alone was strange. Opening the door, Keith saw two gentlemen, one he knew and another he didn’t. Lieutenant General Holt was standing there, looking so how out place to how Keith remembered him a little over a month prior at Christmas. 

“Yes? Can I help you guys?” His voice cracked, and that feeling of dread he was so fond of was returning so quickly.

“Are you Keith Kogane? Do you know General Takashi Shirogane?” The other man began asking. Keith felt like swallowing was suddenly incredibly difficult. He looked over at Holt, the older man looking sympathetic and devastated at the same time. His eyes seeming to say “I’m so sorry Keith.” 

“Yes, I’m his fiancé.”

“I’m sorry sir….”

Keith didn’t hear what they said, he didn’t want to hear what they said. Suddenly his ring finger felt heavy. Keith doesn't remember what else they said, he remembered Holt trying to pick him up off the ground. But he all he heard was Shiro’s voice over and over again saying. “I love you, good night.” Maybe that was because he just couldn’t stop replaying it on his phone. He never deleted that message.

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> update: I wanted to add more to this chapter and make it a little longer and add a little more to that relationship. Unfortunately I think the formatting got even more messed up here, so I apologize for that.


	2. Then Take It Away

**March 10th 10:45 am: A Year Later**

**The Holt’s Spare Bedroom**

 

Keith hated the sun in the mornings, but he hated Pidge even more. Where were his curtains? He bought those black out curtains for a reason, and now they 

were gone. 

 

     Keith pulled the blankets over his head and refused to dignify the injustice with anything other than passive annoyance, how he dealt with most things these days. There was a loud banging on the door but he was refusing to acknowledge it. Pidge was yelling, but that wasn’t surprising.

 

“Get up you lazy sack of ass, you missed breakfast but if you miss brunch, mom is going to kill you.” 

 

“Watch your fucking mouth you shitty teenager!” Keith yelled back, rolling over and refusing to leave the warmth of his blankets. He could hear Pidge ratting him out for what he said on their way downstairs, and not even 10 minutes later there was a much quieter knock on his door. 

Keith still didn’t move. 

“Keith, it’s me.” Matt’s soft voice came through the door, and suddenly Keith felt guilty. Matt was Shiro’s best friend, would have been his best man too, and he was also a sweet, overly sensitive guy. The kind of guy who couldn’t hurt anyone, even if they deserved it, and was practically Keith’s opposite. 

 

Anyone would feel bad being rude to him, and those big brown eyes of his. 

“Alright, come in.” Keith sat up, sporting the worst bed head, and squinting. He felt Matt sit on the bed with him before his eyes finished adjusting. 

“Pidge is the worst.” Matt laughed and shook his head. 

 

“Yeah they have always been like that. You’re never going to see those curtains again.” Keith groaned, what a waste of perfectly good curtains, and knowing Pidge they were probably thrown in a desk somewhere with electronic parts and oil slick, ruined. Keith’s eyes adjusted and he looked over at Matt, who had a gentle face and messy brown hair, he looked almost identical to Pidge in spite of their age difference. 

 

“It’s mom’s birthday you know, this time you’re obligated to come downstairs” he gently reminded Keith, who instantly felt terrible again. 

Damn, he forgot her birthday, and the horror must have shown on his face as Matt shook his head and laughed. 

 

“Don’t worry, we already put your name on the card.” Matt is a good guy, someone protect him at all costs. Keith was convinced that he was completely undeserving of the Holt family and how they took him into their home. 

"I’m sorry, I can’t believe I forgot… is there anything I can…?” 

“Come with me and Pidge to get her present. We get her the same thing every year, and the whole family except dad goes to pick it up. Me, Pidge and Shiro…and now you, get her a plant from the florist down the street. That’s the secret to her garden’s power.” Matt whispered the last part like a joke, because Mrs. Holt did indeed have the most beautiful garden Keith had ever seen. 

 

She grew exotic flowers in one section and herbs and vegetables in another. Keith had gotten roped into weeding and plant chores more times than he could count, but seeing as he had a black thumb and could barely keep basil alive, it wasn’t asked of him all that often. Though Keith suspected it was because he couldn't handle the outside heat or yard work all that well. The Holts were usually overly sensitive about his condition. 

 

Matt offered him a smile and Keith pretended not to wince at the mention of Shiro’s name while Matt pretended not to notice. 

“Yeah, I’ll go." As if there was any way he could turn it down when it was a tradition. “Let me just get dressed.” Keith motioned towards the ground at his piles of clothes on the floor. He briefly remembered a time where he kept a spotless room, but that was a long time ago. 

 

“Shower first, take your time... then breakfast, then flower shop.” Matt stated, leaving him alone with that. Any other day Keith would probably drop back in bed and let sleep take him but he was done with feeling guilty for the day. 

 

He made his way to the adjacent bathroom, staring at his reflection briefly before turning on the water and scrubbing his face. He ignored the dark circles under his eyes as he brushed his teeth and pulled his hair back. 

One, much needed, scalding shower later, he emerged feeling almost alive. Keith was wearing one of his favorite black shirts with the sleeves cut off, it had a lion on it and technically it had once belonged to Shiro so that made it his favorite by default.Keith made his way downstairs, where everyone was eating quietly, Sam Holt was the one behind the stove this time while Alice Holt enjoyed her Eggs Benedict and toast with the rest of the family. 

 

“Morning Keith, come sit down with us.”Alice waved him down and Keith felt pressured to sit next to her, in that sort of embarrassed kid kind of way where your mom picks you up from school when you’re already 17 and should already know how to drive. 

 

Keith wasn’t completely sure, he had never really had parents, just an overly detached aunt and uncle who paid for his medical bills but for the most part he never saw them. The Holts, they were more like what he had always imagined a family to be. 

Matt and Pidge were elbowing each other at the table and Alice was trying to fuss over Keith’s hair. He knew she wanted to go at him with scissors but if Pidge and Matt’s matching chop job haircuts were any indication of what she was capable of, then he wanted nothing to do with that. 

“Happy birthday, Mrs. Holt.”

“Thank you Keith, and please, for the dozenth time call me Alice.” She had a bright smile and a sweet personality, he had only ever seen her cry once. It wasn’t hard to see where Matt got it from.

“Oh, Keith could you look at the car later today? It’s making that weird noise again.” Mr. Holt set down breakfast for him, and a big mug of coffee. 

“Yeah I’ll look at it later, we’re supposed to go on an errand, do we need the car?” He was looking at Matt and Pidge. 

“Dad, I can fix the car.”

“Katie honey, I don’t doubt you, but let’s leave it to someone who does this for a living” 

“It’s a nice day, we could walk, if you’re feeling up to it Keith?” Matt suggested, changing the subject before it could get out of hand. 

Keith thought about it, it wasn’t too hot outside so that should make the walk less difficult, but he was hoping that it wasn’t too far.

“Yeah if it’s only a couple blocks it should be fine.”

Pidge scoffed. “Are you sure your muscles haven’t deteriorated from lack of use, lazy?” Keith raised an eyebrow at them.

“Are you going to be insufferable all day?”

“Why, are you worried I might take your job away?”

“Is this that teen rebellious phase I’ve been concerned about?” Alice suddenly interjected, and Pidge immediately looked guilty. That Holt sweetness and talent for diffusing arguments, no one was safe. Pidge pushed their glasses up higher on the bridge of their nose and looked down into their orange juice. 

“Failed robot last night, I was up late and my data got corrupted and fried its systems, I have to start over. Sorry, I’m a little tired.” 

Keith looked sympathetic. 

“We could look over some stuff later? Maybe scavenge for parts, together?” He would have felt bad not offering, but he wasn’t completely sure he’d have the energy for that, especially after walking to the flower shop and back, and he could tell that Pidge was wondering the same thing. Still, they looked content enough with that answer. 

 

**March 10th 12:00pm**

**Main Street**

While the Holt’s lived on the base with the rest of the air force workers, the flower shop was just outside the collection of neighborhoods with the rest of the main street shops. The walk wasn’t bad, it was a bright day with mild high 75 degree weather and Keith at first was glad he brought a light jacket. 

Keith was starting to breathe a little heavier after the first block, but he didn’t mention itbecause he usually didn’t mention those things.

Pidge was kicking up dust as they walked and kept up a light hearted conversation with Matt that Keith tuned out. 

On the street there was a bakery just called “Thick” with the most beautiful cupcakes and pastries in the display window, and Matt caught Keith staring. 

“We can go there for lunch if you want to. They have the best bagels, and we know the guy who works there.” Keith didn’t respond, he was starting to sweat a little and took off his jacket. Matt instinctively tried to take the jacket from Keith to hold but Keith glared at him and held tight to it.

Pidge and Matt shared a knowing look, and they kept walking down the street. 

They passed rows of small boutiques that sold a variety of things, from home wares, like tea kettles and rugs, to clothes. 

Finally they stopped in front of a pale blue building with no sign and crystal clear windows that showed what looked like a crowd inside. 

Keith stopped to lean against the side of the wall for a moment to catch his breath; it didn’t take too long before he was following Pidge and Matt inside. 

“Lance and Allura look swamped,” Pidge noted as they walked in. 

A dark skinned girl with trendy silver hair was at the front counter, disappearing every few moments to bring orders to the front, and another dark skinned boy stood at the cash register taking payments and the occasional phone order. 

“I want to go look around the nursery.” Pidge was already running off by the time Matt turned around to ask Keith if he wanted to come along. 

“I think I’ll just wait in line” He stated before Matt could actually say anything. Matt ran off to find his sibling and Keith stood in a line that seemed to go much too fast for it’s length. 

Whatever business day rush they were having it ended with Keith and after 15 minutes he was the only one left. As he approached the counter the girl turned and said something to the boy before disappearing to the back. 

The tan guy smiled at Keith, and it was all teeth, Keith was dreading this conversation already. 

“Hey I’m Lance, haven’t I seen you around somewhere before?” Keith was taken aback by the question, as he had been expecting a “How can I help you?” not “Haven’t I seen you around somewhere before?” He was pretty sure his surprise showed on his face. Was he being hit on? It was hard to tell.

“I don’t think so? I don’t remember you.” Keith looked Lance over, he seemed to be the same height as Keith, maybe the same age, and he had the look of bliss and yet smugness on his face. Keith didn’t like it, smug people annoyed him and he found them to be more trouble than they’re worth. 

“You know, I have a really good memory, my friends call me the photographer cause of my photographic memory.” Lance was going on, and Keith found himself rolling his eyes. 

“I have doubts that your friends really call you that. Anyway, I’m here for a pick up.” Keith wanted to just get this interaction over with as soon as possible, and to his relief Lance looked down and opened a binder in front of him.

“Great, now what was it you said your name was again?” Keith visibly bristled. 

“I didn’t say. I’m Keith Kogane but I’m picking up an order for Alice Holt’s birthday. It’s probably under the name Matt Holt.” Lance was already shaking his head before Keith was finished talking, which irritated him. 

“Oh I’m sorry, I can’t let you pick up for someone if your name isn’t on the order and your name isn’t on here.”

“Are you serious?” Lance just pointed at the sign on the counter that clearly read Name on ID must match name for pick up, thank you for your cooperation, and leaned on the counter, resting his head in his hand, again looking smug as all hell. 

“Well, Pidge and Matt Holt came in with me.”

“Where are they now?”

“I don’t know, they went in the nursery!”

“Maybe you should go look in the nursery!” Keith hadn’t been expecting to raise his voice, but he was also taken aback that Lance raised his to match. Where was the customer service in this place?

Lance narrowed his eyes to go along with his challenging tone. Keith probably would have said something he regretted, but like he always did, Matt came in just in time. 

“Hey Lance, how’s it going?” The smug kid smiled widely. 

“Matt, how are you? Hey Pidge, how’s the robotics going?”

“Oh you know, as well as it can I guess” Lance was, overall very friendly with the rest of them, which Keith found to be annoying. It was bad enough they had to walk all the way there, it was worse that he had been treated like garbage in a store where he was a customer. 

“You guys here for Alice’s usual order?” He knew this whole time that they would be by to pick up this plant, and still he gave Keith so much trouble for it? 

Keith felt his face redden.

Matt was still talking and laughing with Lance before he walked away to get the plant and he came back with a small potted bush covered in magenta blooms. 

“One Juniper berry plant. Plant in spring, harvest in fall. Who’s your friend by the way? He new in town? Cause he didn’t know about our ID policy.” Lance nodded over to Keith, who was intently looking at his shoes like they were the most interesting things in the world, and greatly annoyed that he was being spoken about as if he wasn’t even there. 

“Oh Keith? No, he’s an old family friend. He’s lived with us about a year,” Matt explained awkwardly, avoiding mentioning Shiro. Matt was perfect, and Keith was thankful. Lance looked over at Keith, who could feel his eyes thoroughly searching him, for what, he wasn’t sure. 

There was a moment where a look of realization seemed to come upon Lance’s face, but then it faded away as if it hadn’t been there in the first place.

“Huh, maybe I’ve just seen you around then, it’s a small town honestly, all air force base brats and former air force base brats.” Lance snorted as he finished cashing Matt out. Pidge rolled their eyes. 

“We’re all air force brats, including you, so you should watch yourself.” He shrugged but clearly agreed.

“I did say former. Have a good one, tell Alice I said happy birthday.” Lance waved at them as they left and Keith couldn’t figure out if it was genuine or not. 

“See you around Keith.” Yeah, that couldn’t be genuine, he refused to believe it was.

 

 

     Once on the street, Keith seemed to calm down from earlier. “What was that guy's problem?” Pidge shrugged, walking faster to keep up with Matt and Keith’s longer legs. 

“Lance is a little…much sometimes. He means well though. His family’s shop delivers all of the flowers to the mortuary. He might recognize you from the funeral.” They didn’t need to say which funeral, because it was obvious, and because everyone was careful when they brought Shiro up around Keith, and yet every time Keith still seemed surprised about it. 

Keith still had a hard time believing that Shiro was gone, a hard time moving on and not living his life in a cycle. 

Matt nudged Pidge hard and they audibly complained. Matt had been trying to avoid reminding Keith about the funeral, but Pidge didn’t share their brother's knack for social situations. 

“He must have a lot of business here,” Keith commented sourly, and that was the last thing he had to say for the evening. 

 

When they returned home Keith wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and rewatch old movies on his laptop, while completely ignoring everyone, but he couldn’t. Not today, when Alice had a birthday and he didn’t want to be more of a jackass than he normally was. So he put on his big boy pants, bit his harsh tongue and forced a smile on his face for Alice Holt.

 

And faking like everything was okay wasn’t that hard for him. 

 

Blending into the background when you were sad and damaged was easy around the Holts. The Holts were the perfect family, they had each other and they were so close. Shiro had been their first loss, and Keith was almost resentful of that. 

 

He had never known his own immediate family, and seeing them together usually made him feel worse than thinking about losing Shiro, so Keith detached himself from them. He loved the Holts, but he wasn’t one of them, he didn’t have the light brown hair and glasses to match the set they already had. 

He was just there, sharing a space with the perfect family, a space he wasn’t sure he deserved. So for Keith to spend the rest of the evening silent, it was easy, and it was normal. After cake and presents and thank yous he knew he didn’t deserve, Keith went to bed.

Back to restless sleep and tiresome nightmares. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to do something a bit more upbeat from the previous chapter, and I think I sort of failed. I'm not super proud of this chapter, it seems a little boring but introductions are introductions and there is much more to come!


	3. That's Not a Coping Method

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel better about this Chapter than the last chapter, and it is a little more fun than the previous ones. Also I changed and added more to the first chapter of this fic because I thought I needed to establish that relationship a little better. So if you haven't read the updated version of that chapter, I suggest you go back and do that!

 

**March 17th 10 am**

**Keith's Bedroom**  

The knocking on his door started early again.  Keith was getting a little tired of all these morning people.  

“What is it, what do you want?” he groaned from under the covers.

“It’s me, I’m coming in.” Pidge’s voice was distinct out of everyone in the family, and they sounded serious. Keith didn’t bother sitting up until he felt the dip in the bed where they sat down.

“What do you want Pidge?”

“I need a favor actually, I need a ride to the store, to get food for a class party.” Keith wrinkled his nose at Pidge as if to say _Seriously? You woke me up for this?_

“Why don’t you get your dad or Matt to take you?”

“Because you never fixed the car, asshole, no one can go anywhere. If the car was working I could just drive myself.” Pidge seemed weary of having to explain what seemed to be something obvious. Keith just stared blankly at them and ran a hand through his hair, like he always did when he was thinking. Pidge was wearing black sweatpants and a faded t shirt with the word “Nope" printed on it, and didn’t look like they would want to leave the house unless they absolutely had to.

“If the car is still broken I can’t take you anyway. Just walk, it’s not that far.” Pidge punched his arm, waking him up a little more.

“Hey jerk, in case you forgot, the grocery store is all the way across town, and you don’t need a car. I happen to know for a fact that your bike works perfectly fine.” Pidge’s smug face was worse than the flower shop guy’s. Keith grimaced, he had been hoping they wouldn’t remember the bike.

“Did you touch The Lioness? I swear to god Pidge, I hate it when you touch my stuff.” Pidge gestured to the state of his room. It was a mess. Yes, Keith knew it was a mess. He knew that there were dirty clothes and clean clothes intermingled with each other, and that some of those red bull cans on his dresser were months old sitting next to bottles of medication, half of which were empty but not thrown away.  Pidge couldn’t judge him, he decided when he looked them over, seeing a smear of what was probably engine grease on their forehead.  

“Yeah, because you take such good care of your belongings,” they pointed out. Okay, still fair, but Keith wasn’t thrilled to be called out by a 17 year old. Keith’s gaze absentmindedly drifted to the right side of his dresser, the only part of the dresser that wasn’t covered with junk, and the only dresser drawer that completely shut on its own. Pidge followed his gaze but didn’t say anything. They both knew what was in there, but neither was about to bring it up.

“You changed the oil, did you start her up? How’s she sound?” Pidge looked annoyed but there was fire in their eyes, because someone was recognizing their mechanics and it was so rare that someone ever did.

“The fact that you gave your bike a gender, personality and a name is really concerning. Do you know you’re a grown man?”

Keith shook his head. “Me, grown? No way. Plus the lioness is the only girl I want in my life.” This seemed to make Pidge laugh and Keith, caught up in the moment, caved and agreed to take Pidge to the store.

“She sounds great, by the way.”

 

**March 17th 11:30am**

**The Garage**

 

While the Holt family was already awake for the day, the house was pretty quiet and empty. Matt and Sam were at work and Alice was writing in her office. Alice ran the newsletter and the social website for the base. Bake sales, fundraisers, family BBQs and other social town gatherings were all organized and reported on by her. The town was close, and everyone seemed to know everyone else, which Keith still wasn’t used to. Having grown up in a busy city, where people didn’t even _want_ to know your name, was a stark contrast to this. Keith’s way of dealing with it was to barely show up to town events, only if he had to, because otherwise he’d be subject to stares and quiet whispers of people figuring out who he was. The fact that Keith had come to live with the Holts after the death of General Takashi Shirogane and _why_ he had been there, wasn’t a secret. So naturally everyone knew about it and that made Keith want to hide out. He didn’t want to have to relive that experience every time he went outside, he was already torturing himself with that fact.

 

Putting little effort into his appearance aside from tying his hair back and sniffing his shirt to make sure he didn’t stink, Keith went downstairs to meet Pidge with his biking jacket in hand. In the garage sat the family car, hood still open where Keith could see Pidge had tried to look at it but failed to assess the problem, and three motorcycles parked right next to it. One was black and silver and covered with a dust cover, not that Keith needed to see it to know what that bike looked like. Next to that was the unfinished white skeleton of a machine that he’d been working on for over a year, a project he had no idea if he’d finish anymore, and then finally his baby. The Lioness was a fire engine red 2012 Kawasaki Ninja 250R and he hadn’t ridden her in about a year. In spite of the time, The Lioness was spotless, the dust cover already off, and in the dim work lighting Keith could see how she gleamed. Quietly he walked over to her, running his gloved hand over the paint. There were so many memories in this bike... maybe not as many as another bike, he thought as he looked over to the covered silhouette of the matching black Ninja, but still a lot of memories. He hadn't been much older than Pidge when he bought the bike, it had been his 18 year old gift to himself, and a symbol of his independence. Keith had gotten that bike as a big fuck you to his illness, and a big fuck you to the doctors who told him over-exerting himself with street racing was a bad idea. He knew it was a bad idea, but it felt so good. Those days, even before he met the Holts or Shiro, nothing had made him feel alive like racing. And he'd been good at it. Keith stared at his bike, at his own red tinted reflection looking back at him. It had been a good life, fixing up cars in the garage with his coworkers and then taking them out of town to see how they raced, the loser had to buy everyone else drinks. Keith raced cars, and he raced The Lioness, and sometimes with that bike alone he could beat one of the sports cars. Keith smiled in spite of himself, those memories were some of his favorites.

“You remember the rules?” he asked, not turning to Pidge. He had almost forgotten why they were there, but he could see a second reflection in the paint next to him.

“Wear long pants,” Pidge pulled on their black jeans. “Check. Jacket?” They held up a thick black biking jacket that would clearly be too big for them. “Check, and of course, helmet.” Keith handed it to Pidge, it was the old plain white one. He took the red one for himself, and raised the garage door so they could wheel out The Lioness.

 

Hearing the roar of the engine tear through the quiet suburban silence gave Keith a thrill he hadn’t felt in a long time, and in the reflection of the mirror, Pidge thought they saw a smile underneath Keith’s helmet. Pidge felt the wind whip around them, and houses seemed to blur into seamless color, the speed alone made them reach out and grip Keith’s waist as tight as they could. Once on the road, traffic slowed Keith down considerably, but the way he maneuvered around cars was graceful and effortless. Pidge, usually someone who did not like to be noticed, felt the desire to turn to other people on the road and ask them if they were really seeing the same thing. If they could see the way Keith was driving, because it was incredible.

 

**March 17th 1pm**

**The Produce Aisle**

 

Keith was standing in produce, staring at green peppers in the produce aisle for what felt like forever, while Pidge shopped. Keith picked up a small jar of kimchi and briefly questioned how authentic it could possibly be, and if it was even worth it. Probably not, but what did he know? He had never made kimchi, and he was super americanized. He put it down.

“I thought you didn’t get out much?” That voice. No, not that voice, not today. Keith turned around and recognized the tan boy from the flower shop.  Lance was leaning on a shopping cart filled with hot dogs, buns and hamburger meat. There was a bag of coal resting on the bottom shelf of the cart, and it was clear that he was getting ready to have a barbecue. Looking back up from the cart to Lance’s face, Keith couldn’t help but grimace.

 

“I have to leave the house to buy food don’t I?” Keith didn’t think running into someone at a grocery store was all that groundbreaking, everyone went to the grocery store. If he could help it, Keith would rather stay home than do anything else. He just had no desire to leave the house, what was out there for him? A guy who was broken and had no drive. He didn’t want to do anything, and no one was going to convince him otherwise. Keith _knew_ how stubborn he was just as well as everyone else did, and if Lance knew what was good for him he’d back off before he got his little feelings hurt.  

“Your face looks like you just caught a whiff of the wrong end of a horse.” Keith smirked, too easy.

“I think I did.” Lance scowled at him, leaning further over his cart to put a little less distance between them.  

“What is your fucking deal? I’m just trying to have a conversation with you.”

“I don’t remember asking you to."

“Are you always this aggressive?”

“Are you always this pushy?” Keith felt himself raise his voice and noticed that he had taken two steps closer to Lance. Around him, other customers were staring at the scene they were causing. It was like high school all over again for Keith. People called him a rebel and a bad boy, but in reality he had just been a really angry gay kid. The only difference now, was that he was a really angry gay _adult_. Lance stared him down before blinking and sighing loudly, exasperated.

“Let’s start over.” Lance reached out his hand to shake Keith’s “Hi, I’m Lance Esquenazi and I’m trying to be your friend in spite of you trying really hard to hate me.” Keith stared at Lance’s hand for half a minute. He didn’t really want to shake his hand. He didn’t really want a friend. And the fact that Lance was trying so hard was simultaneously endearing and incredibly irritating. Finally Keith grabbed his hand, with little to no enthusiasm.

“I’m Keith Kogane, and I’m not really _trying_ to hate you, you’re just making it really easy.” Before Lance could say something to go along with his ‘ _I’m going to literally kill you’_ look, Pidge crashed their shopping carts together.

“Lance! What are you doing here?” he looked thrilled to see them, and Pidge moved over so they could hug around the carts.

“Oh, I’m just getting stuff for a barbecue next week. Wanted to do something nice before the rainy season comes back and we have lousy weather.” Pidge nodded; the town had to cancel events all the time because of bad weather. “You guys should come! Bring your family, Ma will be there, and Allura is bringing her parents, and that one weird uncle. And Hunk’s family is gonna bring food too.”

“Sounds great, I’ll tell everyone and let you know.” This conversation clearly didn’t involve Keith, he didn’t have a family to bring with him after all, and so he tuned them out, instead looking at Pidge’s cart, which was nearly full.

“Pidge, how are we supposed to take home all those groceries on my bike?” he interrupted, and they looked from the cart back up at Keith like they had forgotten they had come on a motorcycle. Pidge stammered for a few moments.

“Well, I mean, I was just going to get a few things, but then mom texted me saying she needed some things for her ladies club and it just turned into this.” They gestured to the cart helplessly.  

“I can drive you guys back, I have a car. And we can just come back to pick up your bike.” Lance offered. Being stuck in a car with that guy for any amount of time sounded pretty repulsive, but what choice was there? They couldn’t get all of those groceries home on the bike.

“Thanks Lance. See Keith? Problem solved.” Great, terrific, exactly what Keith wanted to do. Ride home with the most insufferable man he had ever met. Just a typical Saturday for him.

“Fine, go pay so we can go.” Keith grumbled, pushing the two of them closer to the cashiers, and Pidge shared a long-suffering look with Lance, who laughed.

 

“This is your car?” Keith, arms full of groceries, found himself face to face with a bright blue 2014 Camaro with black racing stripes. Lance nodded, opening the trunk so they could all start putting groceries away.

“Yeah, this is my baby. I like fast cars.” He was talking, but Keith was staring at the paint cause this was a newer car and it looked like a custom job.

“Could you pop the hood?” He asked, suddenly timid, while he dropped the bags unceremoniously in the back. Lance raised an eyebrow but opened the front door to oblige him.

“What, you think you know something about cars, eh pretty boy?” _Ignore him Keith, he’s just trying to mess with you._ Keith didn’t give him an answer, didn’t have to because of Pidge.

“Actually, Keith’s a mechanic. He’s been working on cars his whole life.” Pidge called from the back. Keith shot Lance a look that was meant to convey cockiness, before he looked down at the engine.

“Oh wow, you have a high rise double pump carburetor, that’s pretty impressive.” The engine was surprisingly pristine, and Keith took off his gloves before touching it.

“Double pump?”

“It squirts the fuel in so you can go faster,” Keith answered automatically without a condescending tone, because he knew not everyone knew about cars.

“Oh yeah, I like to go fast.” Lance said. Keith looked at him and raised an eyebrow. “In, uh, cars… I like to go fast in cars.” Keith made sure that Pidge wasn’t paying attention to them, before lowering his voice.

“You ever race this car?” Lance looked surprised, like the thought hadn’t crossed his mind before. He also lowered his voice before answering.

“Well I haven’t, people don’t really have sports cars much in this area. Usually I take her out to the back roads and see how fast I can get to 160, but there’s no one to go with.” Keith smirked and kept his voice low.

“Do you think you could beat my bike?” Lance raised his eyebrows and looked at Keith questioningly. Keith was excited and it showed, the idea of racing again and feeling alive for the first time in years was thrilling. Shiro never let him race, and the Holts would be furious if they knew; he wasn’t supposed to. At least when Shiro had been around he felt like he had a reason to not race, a reason to live, and not risk it all.

“I don’t think that would be fair?”

“Maybe not for you, I almost never lose.”

“Almost. I have a very fast car, I don’t think a motorcycle can beat it. If we race, what are the stakes?” Oh, he was interested, which worked for Keith because maybe he could even get something out of it. He looked over the hood and saw that Pidge was walking over and his face fell.

“Let’s talk about it later.” Keith whispered quickly before he closed the hood of the car, and they all piled in to go back to the house.

 

During the drive, Lance kept trying to play his terrible music, and for once Keith insisted that they just talk. Pidge was sitting in the front and Keith in the back, resting his head in his hand as he leaned against the window, hardly paying attention and not wanting to make eye contact with Lance in the front mirror even though he kept trying.

“So if you’re a mechanic, why don’t you work for the base too? You could probably get a couple freelance jobs. My best friend Hunk, he does freelance engineering jobs sometimes for them.” Lance was explaining while Pidge kept giving Keith pointed looks. Keith got it, Pidge wanted him to get a damn job, but he just felt tired. It hasn’t been that long since his trauma okay? Keith was still recovering from being sad, he was still sad. He wasn’t ready to work yet and getting a job sounded exhausting.  

    

“I’ll think about it” Keith responded, which of course was code for him having no desire to keep the conversation going. The air in the car got tense and Lance tried to think of something else to say.

“Okay, well what are you guys doing tonight?”

“Nothing! What’s up?” Pidge was quick to chime in because they, while not the most social person in the world, were way more social and enthusiastic than Keith.

“Well I’m having some people over to my place for karaoke tonight. Hunk’s coming over, Allura already lives there, but you guys should come by too.” That sounded like the worst thing Keith had heard about in a while but Pidge looked super excited.

“Sure, we’ll come! I haven’t seen Hunk in forever, and this will be a good way for Keith to meet more people.” They looked over at Keith seriously, as if daring him to disagree or bail out on this social situation and Keith scowled in response.

“Don’t you have school tomorrow?”

“It’s a late start day, and dad won’t mind.” Keith rolled his eyes, of course he wouldn’t mind, Keith had never experienced a version of any Holt who was angry. Except maybe Pidge who was the only Holt to ever call Keith out on his bullshit, and he was very aware of it. He looked at them and the obvious desire to hang out with their _cool older friends_. He caved.  

“I guess we’re going over there, if you really want us to.” Lance looked excited.  

 

They dropped off the groceries and then piled back in the blue camero to pick up Keith’s bike, it was almost 4 o’clock. Lance parked the car next to The Lioness.  Keith opened the car door and turned to Pidge in the front seat.

“Are you riding with me or him?”

“Mmm I’ll just ride with Lance, you can follow us.”  Keith nodded and left, frustrated with the situation, but knowing that he couldn’t get out of it.

 

As soon as Keith was gone, Pidge rounded on Lance aggressively, surprising him with how quickly they turned on him.  “What’s your deal with Keith?”

Lance held up his hands defensively and stuttered. “Wh-what? I don’t know what you’re talking about?” Pidge’s signature “unimpressed” face didn’t budge.

“Come on Lance, our families have known each other forever, I _know_ you. Don’t insult me enough to think that I wouldn’t know the difference between you normally and you flirting.” Lance suddenly was very focused on the road, driving safety was very important in that moment.

“I’m not… _trying_ to flirt?”

“Who are you trying to convince right now? Cause it’s not working on me.” Lance looked guilty and Pidge genuinely looked like they were enjoying the moment of power a little bit too much.

“He’s a good looking guy,” Lance admitted quietly, not taking his eyes off the road. Pidge stopped staring at him with overly serious eyes and looked out at the road as well.

“You guys actually have a lot in common, but Keith is…”  They didn’t want to say broken or damaged, but where was the lie in either of those?

“Still in love with Shiro?” Lance chimed in trying to finish Pidge’s thought, but they shook their head. That’s not what they meant. Lance looked relieved but also didn't relax.

“Well, probably actually, but that’s not it. Keith is wallowing. He’s so stubborn, and… aggressive. You two have a lot in common though, that stubbornness included.” Lance looked offended.

“I’m not as bad as he is.” Pidge snorted and tried to cover a laugh, looking away. They were just as bad as each other, and would probably implode together. But it could also be a good thing.

“He doesn’t socialize, he doesn’t leave his room, he doesn’t have a job. I know dad doesn’t mind, he even has Keith on our insurance because it’s what Shiro would have wanted. I think he’s under the impression that he died with Shiro, because he’s just refusing to live his life. I’m not saying the rest of us moved on, we’re still sad. We miss Shiro everyday, he was family. But you can’t stop living your life when the person you lost would have wanted you to move on.”

Lance looked angry.

“Pidge, you still have your family, you lost someone, sure, and that’s tragic. I lost Shiro too, he was a great friend and a part of my family as much as yours. I know Keith doesn’t know that, but Shiro was a lot to the Esquenazi family. He helped my mom and my siblings through the same shit Keith’s going through now and you could stand to be a little more sensitive. You lost a friend and a brother, but Keith doesn’t even have a family, he lost everything.” Lance said, his voice tight, staring at the road, before looking in the side mirror to make sure the red motorcycle was still following them. It was. Pidge didn’t respond, but was smiling as if they were content enough with that response. They thought that Lance becoming Keith’s friend was a good idea, no one knew what Keith was going through like Lance did. The problem now was Keith.

 

**March 17th 6pm**

**Lance’s house**

 

Keith parked his bike in the driveway next to Lance’s car, and helped take out the groceries from the back so they could bring them inside. He looked up at what was a sizeable house for someone his own age to live in. It was a two story brick exposure with french doors and big windows. The roof dipped down and there was a balcony with some furniture that Keith could see from the ground.

“Is this your house?” He asked as Lance unlocked the front door. He nodded.

“Yeah. It was my parents, my mom said that after my older sister moved out and it was just her and my brother that it was too big for them so they moved in with my grandparents across town. We own the house, so Allura and I moved in after we finished school,” he explained and opened the door, EDM blasting from inside. Lance laughed

“I guess Allura is home.” They entered the main area and there was a big L-shaped couch in the living room in front of a big screen tv surrounded by speakers, computers and electrical equipment. The brown skinned girl from the flower shop, with the long silvery hair that was pulled into a top bun was named Allura apparently. She was sitting on the couch with a laptop in her lap and a half eaten popsicle in one hand. She looked comfortable in pajama shorts and a tank top. Allura seemed to be working in a music program but paused the song when she saw people in the doorway. She beamed and stood up.

“Welcome home, hello guys.” She had an accent that Keith couldn’t completely decipher its origin but he nodded to show that he acknowledged her.

“Allura, you remember Pidge, this is Keith. They’re here for karaoke night.” Allura put the rest of the popsicle in her mouth and nodded before standing.

“We should move some of these things and set up for that then. Hunk texted me that he’s just waiting for the next shift to relieve him at the bakery so he should be here soon.” She said we but she was already moving stuff around for more people. Lance agreed with her and led Pidge and Keith down the hall to the kitchen to put the groceries down.

“Help yourselves to anything you’d like guys. I’m just gonna get some snacks for us. Keith, do you want a beer or something?” Lance didn’t look up from putting the meat away in the freezer. Pidge was grabbing bags of chips and looking through the cabinets for bowls to put them in. Keith felt as out of place as Pidge felt at home.

“Keith’s a lightweight, so I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Keith glared at them.

“What the hell Pidge, no I’m not.” Pidge chuckled.

“Don’t you remember last christmas when you had like two cups of eggnog and couldn’t stop laughing during carols.” Keith snorted.

“That’s because you and Shiro kept meowing instead of singing the lyrics normally, it was so stupid. Who even does that? I am not a lightweight.” He was kind of smiling. Lance smiled too, even though it was obvious this moment wasn’t for him to share.

“Well I’m going to have a beer, one won’t hurt right?” He offered Keith a Corona from the fridge and took one for himself. Keith nodded taking it from him.

 

A little while later Hunk showed up, bringing croissants, and assorted pastries. Keith ate an eclair and felt like he was in heaven. Hunk didn’t even need to do anything else, he was a decent guy and his food was amazing so Keith already liked him more than Lance.  

“Okay, now that everyone’s here,” Lance stood up from the big couch and addressed the group very seriously, or as serious as you could look with a half empty bottle of corona in one hand and a microphone in the other. “I will explain the rules for karaoke now.”

“There are rules?” Keith asked sarcastically and Lance shot him a look.

“Well yeah, you can’t just do whatever you want. First of all, if it’s your first time someone else has to pick the song for you…”

“That’s not a rule!” Keith was so sure Lance was making shit up. Allura nodded though.

“Actually yeah, we all have done this before.”

“And second, this is only tonight's rule but you can only pick songs from high school and back. So classic pop stars of the 70’s, 80’s are good, but nothing after the year you graduated high school.” Keith made a motion to Pidge.

“Um, they’re still in high school how is that fair?” Lance looked to Allura who stared at Pidge for a second.

“We will allow Pidge to pick modern songs, the rule still applies.” She finally said, much to Keith’s annoyance.

“Now, who’s first? Keith?”

“Hell no, pick Pidge.” Lance turned towards Pidge who shrugged, they didn’t mind going first. Hunk grabbed the binder full of songs from the coffee table.

“I got a song for you, Lance give them the mic.” Pidge switched places with Lance as an upbeat electronic beat started and words started to be displayed on the big screen. Pidge did their best La Roux impression and sang Bulletproof while rolling their eyes because to them, it was such an old song. They got into it though, pointing and dancing along with the song and Allura sang a little from the couch. After they were done Lance turned to Keith.

“Alright pretty boy, it’s your turn.” Keith wrinkled his nose in disgust.

“If you pick my song then I want to pick yours” Keith looked at Allura, somewhere along the line deciding that she was the official karaoke judge. She looked very amused by the situation.

“I’ll allow it.” Lance shrugged, showing that he wasn’t scared of whatever song Keith was gonna make him sing.

“Fine, get up here Keith cause it’s your turn.” Keith downed the rest of his beer, probably a mistake, but he took the microphone and looked horrified at the song he’d have to sing. It was Cher. Of course it was Cher. He turned back to Lance.

“Come on, I’m not _that_ gay.” Lance just shrugged

“Honestly, that’s debatable,” Pidge mumbled quietly. Keith ignored them and sang

“ _Do you believe in life after love?”_ Keith had a surprisingly good singing voice, even though he was over acting a bit, because it was Cher for christs sake, but finally that embarrassment ended and it was Lance’s turn. Time for a whole new embarrassment.

“You better treat me right.” Keith laughed at him.

“After Cher, you’re lucky with what I’m giving you.” Lance got ready and the second the music started, Hunk howled with laughter. Dolly Parton, or more importantly Lance’s Dolly Parton impression was a bit much. Lance even put on a southern accent and was doing hand motions, dancing and getting overall into it. Allura was cheering and singing along and when Lance sang “ _Sometime I think that man is out to get me,”_ he pointed right at Keith, who felt embarrassed on his behalf since Lance seemed to have no dignity. He finished the song, and even Keith clapped, because he had to give credit to a man who went all out for Dolly Parton’s song 9 to 5. Lance had guts, he also suddenly had two beers in his hand and was handing one to Keith. He took it and chugged some without thinking.

“You got guts Lance, I’ll give you that.” Lance laughed and they all kept singing. Allura did a rendition of _American Boy_ and blew everyone else away with her amazing singing voice, Hunk did _Survivor_ by Destiny’s Child with Pidge. Lance came back to do a sensual version of R. Kelly’s _Ignition_ and moved his hips a lot to the point where Allura kept teasing that there was a minor present and Pidge pretended to cover their eyes and scream. Keith was finishing off his third beer and felt a little warm during that part of the night. When it was his turn again he came back to sing _Nice Guys Finish Last,_ and even threw in an overly enthusiastic air guitar, the kind you can only confidently do after 3 beers. Everyone was having a great time, laughing and joking, a collection of empty bottles forming on the coffee table. Keith was losing track on whose beers were whose. Allura only had one glass of wine at the beginning of the night, Hunk had brought his own fancy beer so Keith and Lance were the only ones drinking Coronas. There were eight empty Corona bottles on the table, math and logic told Keith that he either drank 8 beers and was about to die, or him and Lance drank 4 beers each and he was still going to die.   Eventually Lance got up to refill the chips, and Keith followed him.

“What’s up?” Lance asked once they were in the kitchen, cause Keith hadn’t said anything, just silently followed him. He looked up now almost surprised that he was standing alone with Lance in the kitchen. Actually he was just surprised to be standing at all.

“Thanks for having us over, it’s fun.” he finally said and Lance nodded.

“Yeah, I told you I’m a fun guy.” Keith shook his head, it was fuzzy. He felt drunk and he felt like he looked drunk but to everyone else he just looked normal, and he was behaving so calmly that it was hard for anyone else to see anything wrong.

“Don’t say that, it’s weird.” He walked over and ate a potato chip from the bowl. “I think I’m too drunk, by the way. Where’s the bathroom?” Lance was taken aback by how calmly Keith said that and blinked at him for a second.

“Uh, yeah, I’ll show you where it is.” Lance lead Keith out of the kitchen and down another hallway. He opened the door and showed Keith the bathroom. “Do you want me to wait for you?” He noticed that Keith was looking a little sick, and he was bracing himself against the wall.

“Yeah... you... might need to come in with me.” Keith mumbled while stumbling into the bathroom and heavily dropping to his knees on the plush pastel blue rug in front of the toilet. What a nice rug, he loved this rug, it was so soft.

“Dude, I don’t mean to be insensitive,” Lance started, closing the door behind him, “but if I hold your hair while you puke and you still treat me like we aren’t friends tomorrow, I’m gonna be mad.” Keith burped and groaned, lifting the toilet lid.

“Yeah we get it Lance, you’re the best friend a guy could have.” Keith slurred, pulling a hair tie out of his pocket and trying to put up his long hair in preparation. He couldn’t quite manage with clumsy fingers, and Lance stepped in, kneeling next to him and tying his hair into a perfect ponytail. Just in time, as Keith started dry heaving and spitting into the toilet.

“Gross.”

“Yeah, this is why I don’t drink,” Keith mumbled. Lance stared at him.

“No one said you had to drink, why’d you do it then?" Keith wouldn’t look at him, shrugging defensively.

“Pidge called me a lightweight, like I couldn’t hold my alcohol. I just don’t like people telling me what I can and can’t do. Even if they’re right. My medication also makes alcohol affect me more.” Lance nodded, he understood that logic. He had done so many stupid things he didn’t want to do, just because someone told him he couldn’t. He still had some of the scars from that. He didn’t want to ask about Keith’s medication, he was curious but also didn’t want to pry too much into something that wasn’t any of his business. Especially with someone drunk enough to be taken advantage of.

“Hey Lance?”

“Yes Keith?”

“Don’t tell Pidge about our race, they don’t think it’s safe.” Lance shook his head, surprised that Keith would even bring up their possible, not even for sure set in stone, race right now.

“Sure, I won’t tell.”

“Good.” And with that, Keith held the toilet bowl and retched. It was violent and disgusting, but Lance held back Keith’s long hair like he promised.

 

After what seemed like an eternity of vomit, where things had only gotten more and more fuzzy, Keith could hear whispered voices near him, but couldn’t make out anything being said. He closed his eyes, yes the dark didn’t hurt him as much as having his eyes open. He didn’t know how long he had been kneeling with both arms around the toilet but at some point Lance placed a glass of water by his feet and told him to drink it. He had some and lay down on the floor of the bathroom where his clammy forehead was blessed by cool tile. Keith didn’t know how long he had been laying on the floor, maybe an hour, maybe two but then a very clear voice spoke to him. “I’m going to put you to bed okay? Don’t punch me in the face,” followed by what felt like floating. Keith squirmed a little, he felt weird. He could have opened his eyes to see what it was that was taking him somewhere but Keith’s drunk brain said that was a horrible idea and he kept them shut tight. He didn’t like the floating, but after a while he was put somewhere soft and warm. Whatever this was, it was okay. Keith felt whatever presence leaving him and grabbed for it.

“Don’t go.” he mumbled pulling the warm presence closer to him. “Don’t leave me again.”

“Okay, I’m here. Don’t worry.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone was curious about it, this is what Keith's bike looks like http://motorcycles.axlegeeks.com/l/339/2012-Kawasaki-Ninja-250R
> 
> And this is Lance's car http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6rLzdJ2Czgk/VWZJyu2GDrI/AAAAAAAA8W0/GyY2tTdotWM/s1600/Chevy-2.jpg
> 
> Also the dialogue from the scene with the car was the same dialogue between Sam and Mikayla from the first Transformers movie.


	4. Being Reckless

March 18th 9am  
????

     Keith smelled the unfamiliarity before he saw it, around him it smelled like flowers, almost like he was in a field outside. But he couldn’t be in a field outside, because it also smelled of woods, fresh air and cologne. Keith didn’t wear cologne unless he had to be somewhere; the last time he wore cologne out of the house, it had been to the funeral.

  
     In moments of desperation Keith would spray his pillows with Shiro’s cologne so he could pretend for a second that he was still there. Keith hadn’t done that for a while, and he had hidden away the bottle to stop the temptation.

     It was bright in the room, and Keith could feel it from behind his eyelids. He blinked at the light… did Pidge take his curtains again? Keith started to shut his eyes again, but noticed that there was someone laying in front of him, someone that he had his arms wrapped tightly around. Light brown hair, and the strong scent of floral cologne was radiating off of him, so that had been what he was smelling. Who the ever loving fuck? Keith was suddenly awake and bolted upright in bed with a shout, throwing off the unfamiliar bright blue comforter and startling the person next to him. Keith looked down and was relieved to see he was still in the same clothes from the previous night, but he was less than pleased to see Lance next to him. Lance yelled in surprise at being woken up so aggressively.

     “What the fuck are you doing here?” Lance made a face at him and gestured around them.  
     “Hello asshole, this is my bedroom, why are you being so loud at…” He looked over to his alarm clock next to the bed. “9 in the damn morning?”

     “What am I doing here?” Lance sighed and made an effort to get comfortable in bed again, as this wasn’t a good enough reason to actually get up for the day.  
     “You got too drunk last night and puked in the toilet downstairs, so Pidge told us to keep you here. Allura drove Pidge home and told the Holts you were staying here.” Lance was trying to be calm while he was explaining but Keith’s general attitude accompanied by the fact that Lance hadn’t slept well because of him wasn’t conducive to a generous mood.

     “Okay, but why are we sharing a bed?”  
     “I was going to let you sleep here and just sleep downstairs on the couch, but when I dropped you off you wouldn’t let me leave. Do you know you snore?”

Keith felt a revolting sensation well up in the pit of his stomach, that was kind of a personal intimate piece of information he didn’t think Lance of all people should be privy to.

     “I’m having a hard time believing that I didn’t want you to leave me alone so I could sleep.” Lance rolled his eyes, it was too early to summon the energy required to handle this. Keith’s snoring had kept him up, and he was not a morning person, let alone without at least 6 hours of sleep.

  
     “I’m going to need you to take your self righteous pride and shove it up your ass. I held your hair while you puked last night. Now I know you snore in your sleep, so we’ve officially bonded. You can’t just turn around and yell at me, Keith, I didn’t do shit to you.” Lance sounded seriously annoyed, but he had warned drunk Keith the previous night that he was going to be mad if Keith was rude after the moment they shared.

  
     Keith looked like he at least felt a little bad for yelling as soon as he woke up, but that might have been for the small headache he was nursing. He was also taken aback by what Lance was saying. Never in the, albeit short, time they had known each other had Keith ever heard Lance sound so nasty and downright rude. But he could also see the lack of sleep on Lance’s face and was empathetic.

  
     “So… did I say anything weird last night?” Lance was already halfway under the covers and getting comfortable when he heard Keith and didn’t look up at him.  
     “You told me to not tell Pidge that we’re going to race.” Keith nodded, it would be bad if Pidge found out, and it did sound like something he would say.  
     “Anything else?”  
     “… No”  
     “Why did you hesitate?”  
     “Just thinking about it, no you didn’t say anything else.” Lance insisted, feeling too embarrassed to tell Keith that he was scared to be left alone and that’s why Lance had to stay in bed with him. It was the same reason he had never changed out of his clothes from the night before.

 

     Keith looked around at the room. Everything was blue, the comforter, the rug and even the walls were painted a light blue to resemble the sky. On the wall behind Keith hung a huge painted tapestry of the moon and stars. Looking around he saw what had to be artifacts of a childhood, mixed with adulthood.  
There were transformers posters with cars and Megan Fox on one side, but on the other Keith could see a diploma awarded to Lance Edwardo Sanchez Esquenazi for astronomy and astrophysics. Well that sure was a name.

  
     The room was almost spotless, clothes all put away and things were they should be. Different model cars were lined up on the shelf and Keith smiled, because he had some of those same models somewhere, packed away in the boxes he still hadn’t unpacked in a year at the house.  
On a desk near the window, there wasn’t a computer, but a bunch of potted plants of varying shapes and sizes. They were lined up together to get sun, a small bonsai with tiny little buds ready to bloom, a tiny cactus with a fuchsia flower on top, and a few little floral clusters potted separately, even though Keith couldn’t tell the difference between them.

  
     Keith got out of bed and pulled the covers further over Lance. He wobbled as he stood, the mild headache becoming more severe. His heart beat shuttered in his chest and he felt terrible.  
     “What do you like to eat for breakfast?” He asked, but there was no response, as Lance had already fallen back asleep.

     Keith left the room and found himself in a hallway upstairs, there were family pictures hanging on the wall, some of them with versions of young Lance with what was obviously his parents. A tall broad man with a full beard and a short thin woman with light brown hair and a warm smile, she was holding a chubby infant in her arms. There was a girl in the picture as well, who looked just like Lance, only older, with a sophisticated bob hair cut.

     Next to this picture was another one of Allura and her family. Allura was just a kid, with silver pigtails and missing teeth. Both her parents were holding her hands in a field of flowers, a looming mansion in the background. On the side table a couple of framed family pictures sat. Lance at the school science fair, he won second place and looked frustrated about it in the picture. His cheeks were red and puffed up, and Keith actually thought he was a cute kid. Next to that picture was a picture of Allura with a first place trophy nearly as big as her, in an equestrian uniform, in front of a horse.

     Keith felt weird looking at these pictures so he turned towards the stairs. The stairs were a little steeper than the ones at the Holt’s house and Keith knew getting back up them was going to be a massive annoyance. He walked down the stairs and looked to see if anyone was there. The living room seemed empty and quiet, and Keith found his jacket draped over the back of the couch. He reached into his jacket pocket to pull out his phone. He had a two messages from Pidge, and a message from Matt.

  
Matt: Be safe. Come home soon.  
Pigeon: Lightweight  
Pigeon: Don’t forget to take your medicine, tomorrow is check up day.  
Keith didn’t respond to any of them. Fuck check up day. He didn’t feel like it was necessary for Pidge, a 17 year old, to act as his mother.

     Keith made his way to the kitchen and started preparing coffee, before turning to the fridge to see what was available for breakfast. Just looking in the fridge made him feel nauseated so he grabbed a glass and downed two cups of water before he made an attempt at cooking. Keith didn’t really cook much at home or even before he lived with the Holts, but he pretty much raised himself and that meant that he could at least make a decent pair of eggs and not burn bacon or toast. Keith whipped up breakfast for him and Lance, including coffee and orange juice. Keith scoured the cabinets for a tray to put the food on, and was actually surprised to find one in the drawer under the oven. It was lavender with little pink flowers on it, and Keith unceremoniously piled everything on it.

     Keith could easily lift a tray with enough food to feed two grown men, but lift and carry that tray up a flight of stairs? More debatable. He stared at the stairs and tried to imagine this wouldn’t be as bad as he imagined it would. He went the first three steps and started panting, maybe going slower would help but damn did he hate stairs.  
     He hated the ones at the Holts and would usually use them as an excuse to avoid going downstairs to socialize. Keith was sweating by the fifth step but eventually he made it to the top. Lance better appreciate this.  
Keith was standing by the bed, where Lance appeared to still be asleep.  
     “Hey, get up. I got breakfast.” He kicked the bed frame trying to get Lance’s attention without completely dropping the tray on him. Lance opened one eye and looked up at Keith.  
     “That’s generous of you,” he sat up and took the tray from Keith’s hands, making room on the bed for them both to sit down.  
     “How do you like your eggs?”  
     “Over easy.”  
     “Me too.” Keith handed Lance the plate with the over easy eggs and took the plate of scrambled eggs for himself. They ate in silence for a minute or so.  
     “It’s nice to have breakfast made for me, I usually do all of the cooking in the house.” Lance was explaining after having a sip of his orange juice. Keith raised an eyebrow.  
     “Allura doesn’t cook? She seems like she’d know how.” Lance laughed.

  
     “Knowing how and actually doing it are different. Allura is a great cook, but she doesn’t do it much. I think she’s just used to people cooking for her because of living with her family.” Keith nodded, not that he understood much about family, but to show he was paying attention.

  
    “I saw the pictures in the hall, are your families close?” Lance nodded, swallowing his food before speaking.

  
    “Yeah my dad used to be a body guard for her family. I don’t know everything about it, but Allura’s dad is a duke or something? A king? I don’t know, but they’re wealthy and royalty and Allura used to go to a private boarding school. While my dad was working for them, he wanted my mom, sister and me closer so he basically arranged it so we all went to the same school. That’s how I met her and we’ve been friends ever since.” Keith nodded, he didn’t know what it was like to have a friend so so many years, but he could tell from how they interacted that Allura and Lance were close.

  
     “That’s a long time to know someone, I don't think I know anyone from school anymore, but I’m grateful for that honestly.” Lance watched Keith to try and see his expression, but he wasn’t looking up.

  
     “I’ve been lucky to know a lot of the same people for a long time, considering how many times we had to move. I’ve known Hunk since high school and I met Pidge after graduating.” Keith nodded again, he was listening but didn’t really feel like he had much to contribute.

  
     “I met Pidge two years ago, Shiro introduced me to the Holts… “ Keith let his sentence trail off and Lance was still watching and waiting for him to continue, when he didn’t, Lance stepped in to change the subject.

  
     “So when did you want to have that race?” Keith smirked at him.  
     “Are you free today?” Lance laughed and nodded.  
     “Yeah, Allura gave me the day off to take care of you. Perks of being best friends with the boss.”  
     “Allura is your boss?”  
     “Well yeah, she owns the flower shop. She studied botany and horticulture in college, not me. I learned everything I know about plants from her actually.” That wasn’t surprising when Keith thought about the diploma on Lance’s wall. “Anyway, we can go after you shower and change, cause no offense dude, but you stink of vomit.” Keith wrinkled his nose, that was probably true, but rude as hell to point out. He lifted the neck of his shirt to his face and scowled. Yeah, he reeked. “Don’t worry, I have stuff you can borrow.” Lance stood up and went to the closet. He looked back at Keith, assessing him. Keith wasn’t quite as broad in the shoulders as Lance, and a little thinner overall, but there was probably something in the back of his closet that was too small for him that he never threw out. Finally he grabbed an old white air force shirt from when he was still in high school, and a pair of jeans that were definitely going to be a bit baggy. He threw both of them on the bed. “You can put your dirty clothes in the hamper and I’ll wash them when I do laundry.”

     “You don’t have to do that, I can just take them home with me.”

  
     “Honestly I feel a little guilty for you drinking so much, it’s no big deal.” Keith shrugged before allowing himself to be led to the bathroom.  
Lance wasn’t in the room when Keith got out of his much needed shower, wearing a stranger’s clothing and smelling different from anything he was used to. Keith was the kind of guy who used bar soap and whatever shampoo Alice Holt bought in bulk from the grocery store; he was definitely not used to fancy foreign names on his bottles. He smelled like what he imagined a magazine cover boy might smell like, but his hair did feel much softer than he was used to, so maybe that was a win. He missed smelling comfortable, Keith liked his usual shower routine, and his own scent. The previous night Keith slept in Lance’s bed; he used his shampoo and was wearing his clothes. Keith felt like a stranger to himself and every essence of this annoying man was all over him. Keith left the room and looked for Lance in the hallway. Down the hall there was a cracked door and Keith peeked into a spotless office with family photos on the desk and everything in order. Lance was standing in front of an open closet, speaking quietly in spanish. Keith couldn’t hear what he was saying.

  
     “Lance?” He turned around immediately at the sound of his own name, closing the door to the closet, and hurried out of the room and closing the door behind Keith.  
      “I’m almost ready to go if you are. Meet me downstairs” Lance gave Keith a gentle push on the back.  
     “What’s with that room?”  
     “That’s just my father’s office.” Keith didn’t know if he should push more about it with Lance or not, so he chose to keep quiet and meet Lance outside.

 

March 18th 1pm  
Lance’s Driveway

     The only thing that felt like himself was his red biking jacket. He was thankful he had taken it off prior to acquainting himself with the toilet bowl the previous night.

  
     “Okay, take your bike and follow me,” Lance finally joined Keith after he locked the front door to the house.  
     “Where are we going?”  
     “There’s a stretch of empty road just out of town, they used to do bomb testing in that area 30 years ago, but moved it somewhere else after preservation people got upset,” he explained before getting into the car.

     After half an hour of driving, Keith could finally see that there was nothing but a dust covered road and a few trees around them. The town and any sign of civilization were miles away. They were lined up next to each other and Keith took off his helmet when he saw Lance roll down the window of the Camero.

     “So what are the rules?” Keith asked, raising his voice slightly because of the distance.  
     “We race to that big tree near the center,” He pointed and Keith could see a figure of a tree miles in front of them. “We circle it, and come back. First one to cross this spot.” Lance pointed to another plant growing near where they stopped. “Wins.” Keith nodded.  
     “On your mark then” Lance pulled out his phone and pushed a few buttons on it.      
     “When you hear the alarm, then we go.” Keith put on his helmet and for a few seconds it was silent. He could only hear his own wheezing heart’s uneven patter in his head, his breathing more intense and that dangerous adrenaline rushing through him. Keith felt for a second that he could hear Lance’s breathing, even though he knew he couldn’t. This moment before the bigger rush, before the race, was almost equally thrilling as the race itself. Almost. But Keith didn’t have time to contemplate that more.

The alarm sounded.

     The Lioness roared and Keith was crouched down, peeling away from the Camero before Lance could blink and he found himself floundering for the gas pedal. The gap between them growing as Lance struggled to maintain his composure. He was in awe, staring at the way Keith dominated the road with the practiced ferocity that only a seasoned racer could have. Lance had nothing on that talent, but then again he didn’t need it, he was in a car.

     He gained on Keith, who was using the grace that you could only obtain on a bike, to drift back and forth, blocking the road and making passing nearly impossible. Lance saw the tree coming up in the distance and jerked the steering wheel hard, it wasn’t graceful in any way, but he thought if he went wide enough with his turn he could get around the tree and in front of Keith. He needed to do something fast if he wanted to gain control of the road again. And Lance didn’t have any intention of letting his car lose a race against an old motorcycle. By the time Lance was starting his turn, he could see Keith whipping around the other side, bike almost at a complete 90 degree angle, his body close to the ground. Lance could see him out of his window, and it was as if everything was moving in slow motion. He could have swore that for those few seconds he could see the most genuine smile on Keith’s face. He would be smiling too if he was winning a race on a bike. The red blur was still in front of him, and Lance was running out of options, he stared down at his steering wheel before pressing the nitrous button there. The car felt like a bolt of electricity as it jolted forward under Lance’s hands. The road was wide and he spun the wheel to the side, finally overtaking Keith and getting past him. He didn’t even glance over at his opponent as he passed.

  
     Finally Lance was in front. And he did not let up, the speedometer climbing, as he put more and more distance between himself and The Lioness. There was this horrible feeling, like he was being hunted. Lance looked in the rearview, he was being chased. The gap between the two was slowly shrinking, and while Lance knew it wouldn’t be enough for Keith to catch up, there was no sense of backing down. Keith surely knew he was going to lose, but damn if he wasn’t trying to show what he really could do. Keith moved his hands and switched something on the bike, Lance couldn’t really see but he was gaining more now. Lance paled. Nitrous, in a motorcycle? He switched gears and kept going, blue eyes glued forward to the road. They hadn’t bet anything, but his pride was on the line, and no matter what tricks Keith and his lion had, giving up wasn’t an option.

     In the distance ahead of him, Lance could make out the shadows of figures by their makeshift finish line. A handful of cars, most of which he guessed were painted a garish purple, if the glare from the sun was any indication.

  
     “Fuck” Lance knew who they were long before he reached the finish line. Which he reached first, but where in a normal circumstance he would rejoice and gloat, he felt uneasy. There were three purple sports cars surrounding the area, and immediately Lance recognized them. He flashed a warning look to Keith as he got out of the car to greet them, but he wasn’t certain Keith even knew what he meant. There were a handful of people around them, but three stood out the most. Aaron Vk, the leader, a bald man with a tall stature, who was as quiet as he was intense. Vk didn’t need to do much for himself, a wave at his right hand or his hag of a girlfriend and someone would take care of it for him. Vk was twice the size of Lance and could easily flatten him without a thought, but it wasn’t Vk that knew him. They had never gone to school together, he was much older, but the other two he was very familiar with. Gee Sendak and Haley G Robinawitz were always with him. Gee used to go to the same high school as Lance and the brunette couldn’t forget him. Gee was a brute in every stereotypical way, except that he excelled at sports and academics along with it. No one could touch him to get him in trouble when the school staff loved him. Vk was his cousin, and leader of the largest underground gang in the whole city, so naturally Lance avoided him as much as possible. Especially for his mother’s sake, who would be absolutely mortified to know he was around gang members at the moment. Haley was supposedly Vk’s girlfriend, She was three years older than him and had gone to a fancy private school in the next city over so Lance didn’t know what to make of her. Other than the fact that she had an ugly face and a smokers voice.

     “Hey Sanchez, nice ride. Your sugar momma buy that for you?” Gee always said the most annoying, corny garbage. Lance rolled his eyes, some people never grew up.  
     “You know this is my car, I bought it myself.” he was gritting his teeth, but years of having arguments with people and having a mouth that gets you into trouble, Lance knew he was better off not starting anything. Keith pulled up with The Lioness and looked from the group of people, back to Lance.  
     “What’s going on?” Lance didn’t look over at Keith, he was too busy locking eyes with everyone in front of him. Vk turned to Keith.  
     “That’s a nice bike, we saw your race.” Keith raised an eyebrow at him and tried to read the situation, something he was never particularly good at. He looked around in the circle.  
     “Thanks. Do we have a problem here guys?”  
     “Not a problem, I was admiring your bike, it’s a classic right?”  
     “Yeah, they discontinued this model so it’s had a lot of work put into it.”  
     “So you wouldn’t be interesting in selling it then?” Keith narrowed his eyes at the guy in front of him, as if the very idea was preposterous to him.  
     “No I wouldn’t.” Vk sighed and shook his head, the smile on his face turning Lance’s blood to ice in his veins. Keith was still calm, not completely understanding the gravity of the situation. He didn’t grow up hearing the rumors about a local gang causing trouble just outside of the town, but Lance grew up with those rumors and Allura had first hand experience with getting tangled with them.

  
     “It’s a shame, cause I’d be interested in buying.” Vk looked Keith up and down, sizing him up, which wasn’t hard considering how lean Keith was. Vk was broad shouldered and could easily crush him physically. “I am impressed by your driving. My friends and I got to wondering what you could do in an actual car.” he was speaking casually, but Lance tensed. These guys didn’t play around, they raced for money, they have attacked people in the street, and he wasn’t sure if they were packing weapons or not. This was a lot more than he bargained for.

  
     “Well I don’t have a car, but I know my way around.” Vk pointed to Lance’s car behind them and gestured behind them. Next to him the girl laughed in a sinister way.

  
     “There’s one right there. We also have cars back here”  
     “I don’t think that’s a good idea Keith.” He looked back at Lance and raised an eyebrow. How could Lance not have any sense of pride. Lance pulled Keith close to they could whisper to each other.  
      “I don’t have to use your car if that’s what this is about.” Keith spoke quietly. Lance shook his head.  
      “These guys are dangerous dude, they don’t play fair. If one of us gets hurt, the Holts will kill me.” Keith snorted.  
      “They won’t kill just you.” He paused “Trust me, I can beat this guy.” Lance locked eyes with Keith and they stared at each other for a moment. It was as if Keith was asking Lance to trust him, and for some reason without knowing him that well, Lance felt like he did.

  
“I want to be in the car with you though.”

 

     Keith was behind the wheel in Lance’s car and Lance was drumming his fingers on the dashboard nervously. “No one else drives this car,” he felt inclined to point out.

  
     “I can do this.”  
     “I know… “ Lance didn’t look at Keith, he just quickly ran through the basics of his car and ignored Keith’s rolling eyes. Miles away, farther than the tree, farther than before, Gee was parked as the checkpoint and as they lined up Keith glanced at their opponent and at the Lioness parked behind them, before looking straight ahead at the road. In front of them the girlfriend raised her jacket to signal when to go and there was a moment where everything felt slowed down, and Lance and Keith locked eyes. There in Lance’s face, Keith could see fear and adrenaline, he could see the reason he liked to race. He adjusted his grip on the steering wheel, leather gloved hands sweating with anticipation, in spite of his calm demeanor. Haley waved the flag and the two cars took off.  
Lance felt himself release a breath and Keith felt every part of him become focused on driving, feeling them shift forward to try and overtake the purple Lamborghini next to them. The two cars were picking up speed, and dust down the dirt road of nothing in front of them. Eventually they sped passed the tree from the first race and Vk took the lead.

  
     “He passed us!” Keith did not dignify that comment with so much as a sideways look.  
     “I know, I’m driving.” he growled back, and trailed hood to bumper on the car in front of them, slowly getting closer to the turn in the distance. Keith waited, when he saw the matching purple car at the end and moved to the right of the car, getting ready to turn. “Hold onto something.” He switched the gears and jerked the wheel, sending the Camero into a perfect drift around Vk’s car, pulling them in front of the car. He stomped hard on the gas and the car lunged forward, Lance’s head hitting the back of the seat as he did so. Keith didn’t look over at Vk as they passed, he focused on the road and sped up with the purple Lamborghini close behind.

  
     “Push the goddamn nitro already while you're ahead.” Lance was practically yelling in his ear.  
     “Don’t tell me how to fucking drive, I got this.” He didn’t push the button. Behind them, the Lamborghini slammed into the back bumper, actively jolting both of them, and effectively terrifying Lance.

  
     “What the fuck is he doing to my baby!?” Lance was just screaming, so Keith ignored him. Keith swerved on the road, making it difficult to pass, because he still wasn’t willing to lose this race. Vk slammed into the back bumper a second time, Lance cried out, but Keith still didn’t push the button. They were getting closer to the finish line and Vk was still trying to pass them, finally he was able to get to the side of them. Keith looked over, and they locked eyes, Vk looking menacing, teeth bared. Keith smiled at him, and only then did he press the button. The nitrous going off and the car jolting forward again, far ahead of Vk and putting a huge amount of distance between them. They could see the finish line getting closer now, but something was off. Some of the cars were gone, and Keith squinted and scanned the area.

  
     Where was The Lioness? He couldn’t see it. Keith let the car roll to a stop, and got out. There was only one purple car left, a handful of people, including Vk’s hideous girlfriend, and not a red motorcycle in sight.

  
     “Where’s my bike?” He addressed the girl in particular, and she laughed.  
     “What bike?” He stomped over to her, leaving Lance behind as he scrambled to follow out of the car.  
     “You know what bike, bitch. My bike. The red one.” Keith wasn’t questioning, he was demanding, and he was pissed off. She just narrowed her eyes at him and flipped her long stringy hair over one shoulder.

  
     “Well, I don’t see a bike anywhere, do you?” He was running out of patience, not that he had much to begin with. He got closer to her, breath hot on her face and arms spread wide in frustration.

  
     “No, I don't see a bike, and that’s the problem, where the fuck is it?”

  
     “I told you, I don’t know.” She was still smiling, mocking him, and Keith felt his anger flare. He shoved her into the dirt, and she hissed, giving a short nod to one of the bigger guys behind her, who immediately lunged for Keith and pulled him up by his collar.

  
     “Hey, back off.” Lance, who seemed to appear out of nowhere with a punch to the guy’s arm so he would drop Keith, who fell onto the ground hard. Keith kicked the bigger man’s legs out from underneath him, and almost didn’t scramble out of the way fast enough to avoid being crushed. Behind them, Lance could hear the roar of the Lambourgini coming to a stop as Vk finally approached the situation. “Let’s get out of here.” Lance dragged Keith up to his feet and hauled him back to the Camero, where he practically threw him in the backseat and took off driving as fast as he could, back into town, and away from trouble.

     Keith sat heaving in the back, no seatbelt on, with his hand clutching his chest. “They stole my bike.” He whispered, just loud enough for Lance to hear. Lance ran a hand through his brown hair and shook his head.

  
     “The race was just a trick so they could steal it.” Keith punched the back of Lance’s seat and groaned in frustration. His free hand was still clutching his tightening chest and suddenly Keith felt like it was on fire, and breathing was difficult. Lance looked at him through the rearview mirror. “Keith, are you okay?” He shook his head, he wasn’t okay.

  
     “No, my chest hurts, I think I’m having a heart attack.” Lance stepped harder on the gas pedal, taking his phone out with one hand.  
     “I’m getting you to a hospital, just take deep breaths.” And Keith didn’t even have the energy to snap at him and call him condescending, he just focused on his breathing. He was used to this, the chest pain that always came at the worst times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it's been so long since an update. I've been really sick and very busy with work and personal family issues in the last month. I'm hoping to get more writing up soon because I already know how the next chapters are going to go. Another reason it took this chapter a while to go up is because I'm not as proud of it as some of the other chapters, but I'm very excited to write the next few! I hope you guys enjoy it and what's to come!


	5. Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I intended to have this before december, I'm sorry. I actually had a hard time contacting my beta so I haven't been able to edit this. I'll probably make an addition to the ending, but I wanted you guys to have the chapter before too long.

**March 18th 5pm**  
**Hospital**

 

Lance hadn’t been in a hospital in years, but the smell of antiseptic brought him back to when he had visited his father, four years prior. This was different though, instead of his father’s unconscious body laying next to him, Keith was laying there, looking mildly enraged and extremely exhausted. The nurse had given Keith something to stabilize him, Lance didn’t know all the details, and now they were waiting on Keith’s regular doctor for an explanation. They didn’t talk, and Lance could barely look Keith in the eyes, the memories of family and friends trying to talk him down, while he fought through them to get to his unconscious father's bedside, flashed through his mind. It was a struggle to keep his heart from racing.

 

After what felt like hours in a small stuffy room that smelled of latex and stale air, the doctor came in. Dr. Leon had greying hair, a fantastic handlebar mustache and the disposition of a tired elderly english man.  
“Mr. Kogane” he started and Keith looked up at him expectantly. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here until tomorrow.” Keith shrugged at him.  
“I just couldn’t wait to see you I guess.”  
“What were you out doing when you were brought here?”  
“Got into a fight…I lost.” The doctor shook his head and looked down at his chart, he glanced sideways at Lance but otherwise didn’t say anything to him right away.  
“I always recommend all my patients stay out of fights, but I would think that with your condition, you would be more careful.” Keith smiled bitterly, he had an IV in his arm and looked exhausted, this wasn’t, in his mind, the best time for a lecture.  
“I’ll try my best” After the comment Lance shivered, Keith didn’t sound serious at all.  
“Well I have good news and bad news for you.” Keith and Lance both held their breath. “Good news is that you didn’t have a heart attack” Keith looked surprised and relieved. “You had a panic attack, just anxiety that made your heart race.”  
“What’s the bad news?” Keith nearly cut off the doctor’s speech. Dr. Leon nodded, glancing over to Lance.  
“I’m sorry Mr. Esquenazi unless you’re family, I’m going to ask you to step out.” Lance nodded and shot Keith a sympathetic look while Keith tried to not look him in the eyes, feeling completely pathetic.

 

Lance saw Pidge and Matt in the waiting room immediately upon entering, and Pidge looked completely livid. They stomped over to Lance, looking as imposing as someone could be from half a foot down.  
“What the hell is wrong with you? You were supposed to take care of him” Lance threw his hands in front of him to try and put some distance between the two of them.  
“It was an accident, he had a panic attack,” he managed to stammer out before Matt reached out and pulled Pidge backwards enough to make him feel less in danger.  
“Oh a panic attack, is that all?” sarcasm was practically oozing from their front teeth. “What the hell were you guys thinking? He has a heart condition Lance, you can’t just street race a kid with a heart condition” Lance glared at Pidge, and Matt stepped actively between the two of them.  
“He’s not a child Pidge, he’s a grown ass man. Keith wanted to race, it made him happy, and yeah things got out of hand but you’re actually a kid so don’t you think it’s not your place to make those kinds of decisions for him?” The tension between the two of them was thick, and once again Matt was the voice of reason, not that he sounded particularly unbiased this time.  
“Lance, Keith is our family. He’s important to us, no one wants to see him get hurt. Now what did the doctor say?” Lance sighed, and ran a hand through his hair.  
“He said it was a panic attack and then kicked me out cause I’m not family, so I’m not sure.” Matt nodded and moved passed both of them.  
“Okay, thank you. I’m going to find out what’s going on, can you two please calm down until I get back?” It was clearly a rhetorical question but Lance still heard Pidge mumble “No promises” under their breath.

 

Lance and Pidge sat in the hospital waiting room for what felt like forever, based on their silence, and the fact that they sat on the other end of the row of chairs away from him, Pidge didn’t seem to be talking to Lance. Finally after what felt like an hour long silence. (Redo)  
“I hope you at least keep one of the promises you made to my family regarding Keith.” Lance glared at Pidge.  
“I made that promise to Shiro, not you, and I’ll keep it.”  
“I know you disagree, but I know Keith, and if he knew what you know, he’d never let it go.” Pidge shook their head and Lance rolled his eyes. He didn’t want to get into it with them, Lance didn’t think the way the Holts babied Keith was healthy. Lying to someone is never the best road to take.  
“You talk a lot of bullshit Pidge. You act like letting it go is something that’s easy to do, but don’t pretend that if something happened to your family you wouldn’t do every damn thing in your power to find out what. Don’t be such a hypocrite.” Lance stood up like he was getting ready to leave, but Matt came back out to them.  
“Okay so Keith is going to be here for a while.” Pidge and Lance just looked at him, waiting for him to continue. “He has to get the shunts from his last surgery replaced because they aren’t working as well anymore, now that’s he’s in better condition they’re going for a more permanent solution. They’re going to do the surgery tomorrow, then he has to stay for a week for observation and then he’ll be home on bed rest for another week.” Matt sounded like he was just repeating everything the doctor told him word for word.  
“But is he okay?” Pidge asked and Matt nodded.  
“Yeah, it’s apparently a simple procedure, but he’s going to be here for a while. I’m going to go home and get some things for him. Pidge, are you coming?” They shook their head.  
“No, I’ll go sit with him. Lance are you staying?” He shook his head, this was probably the longest he’d been in the hospital since he’d been by his unconscious father’s side, and it was generally overwhelming at this point.  
“I have to meet Hunk, got a lot of stuff to take care of. Tell Keith I’ll text him and if I can I’ll be back tomorrow.” He turned and walked out of the hospital.

 

 **March 18th 10pm**  
**Hunk’s Basement Office**

 

“All this dust cannot be good for you.” Lance barely glanced up at the sound of Hunk’s voice in the doorway. He continued to look through the manila file in his hands, with only the light of a single lightbulb lamp and the glow from the computer on the desk in front of him.  
“Well you live here, you could clean some of it up.”  
“No way am I cleaning up after your mess, I’m your best friend, not your maid.”  
“If you really were my best friend, you’d be down here helping me find a lead. The case has been dry for months now” Lance threw down the folder and it clacked loudly against the computer keyboard. Hunk sighed and took the chair next to him.  
“What’s this really about? Keith being in the hospital isn't your fault you know.” He glared up at him. Yes it was. Keith being in the hospital was one hundred percent his own fault, because if they never had been out there being reckless in the first place none of it would have happened. Lance stood up out of his chair, moving away from Hunk, he was frustrated and it showed.  
“I made Shiro a promise before he died dude. I promised him I would continue his work, finish what he started, I promised him I would stay away from Keith. That I would protect him. Now look what's happened.” Hunk shook his head.  
“Keith had a heart condition before you, that couldn’t have been helped. He’s okay, it’s going to be just an in and out procedure. The Holts aren’t even worried about it.” Lance scoffed, the Holts made it their business to hide everything from Keith, he was beginning to doubt if they knew what was really best for him.  
“I should stay away from him.” Hunk made a face. “Keith, I should stay away from Keith.” Lance clarified and Hunk just rolled his eyes.  
“Yeah ‘stay away from him’ is that why you’ve been looking up so much stuff about the Galra gang?” Lance stayed silent. “Don’t patronize me, Allura told me that files on gang activity from her uncle's office went missing a few hours ago. So unless you suddenly found a connection between those low brow criminals and your father's death, after all this time, it has to be because you want to find out where they took Keith’s bike.” Lance didn’t dignify that with a response. Hunk sighed and leaned over in his chair to take the file off the desk, Lance wasn’t listening to him so he figured he could at least be helpful. “Do you want me to go get some coffee? We might be here for a while.” Lance smiled, cause his best friend was always on his side even when he didn’t want to be. He shook his head.  
“I’ll get the coffee,” He stood up and picked up his phone and wallet from the table. “I could use a little fresh air, I’ll be back.” Hunk waved him off as he buried himself in one of the files on the desk.

 

The weather outside was already sticky with humidity, but there was a breeze that kept it from being unbearable as Lance walked down the street to the closest open cafe. He pulled out his phone and quickly shot a text to Keith.  
‘Hey how are you feeling? Are you bored? Do you miss me yet ;^)’ He smiled to himself as he sent it and walked into Cafe Queue, (take me now,) there was a short line and he figured that’s what he got for picking the coffee shop so close to the public college. He felt a quick vibration noting a text back from Keith.  
‘I am bored, but I sure as hell don’t miss you.’  
‘Well that’s rude, and here I was trying to ask if you wanted me to grace you with my company. :^(‘  
‘No, I think I’m good.’ Lance rolled his eyes, he didn’t know why Keith was such a cold bastard, but he didn’t let it bother him.  
‘I’m at Cafe Queue, if you want something I’m pretty close to where you are.’  
‘No thanks, I can’t eat or drink anything until after tomorrow morning’ Lance looked up to give the barista his order. She was cute, with long blonde braids, dark skin and green eyes, she seemed tired like she had worked a longer shift than usual on less than usual sleep, but she was still smiling when she wrote Lance’s name on his two extra large cups of coffee. Her name tag said Nyma. Lance smiled at her and said he had never seen someone working there with such pretty eyes. She laughed out of pity and didn’t give him much of a response from it. He took the cups from her and moved to the station to put extra sugar in Hunk’s and extra milk in his own. Lance quickly shot back a text to Keith.  
‘Sorry about today, did Pidge chew you out? They ripped me a new one’ Lance walked back into the basement office of Hunk’s family home. The big guy was hunched over a file with his brow furrowed and annoyed. Lance coughed to make his presence known, and Hunk looked over at him.  
“Black coffee, extra sugar for you. And a double espresso, extra milk and sugar for me.” Hunk reached out and took his cup of human gasoline and handed the folder to Lance.  
“Thanks. Hey, I know you’ve made finding Keith’s bike a priority, but did you notice anything weird in this missing persons file? Why do you have this?” Lance looked down at the folder and shrugged.  
“There wasn’t really a reason, more of a hunch. I couldn’t find a connection between the people that went missing though. None of them had anything in common and only a couple of them were even military.” Hunk agreed, he also couldn’t find a connection between the people, but something was bothering him about it and he didn’t know what.  
“Look into it again at some point, something’s weird about it. But on the bright side I know where they’re keeping Keith’s bike.” Hunk proceeded to show Lance the mechanics in town who all accepted spare parts and which ones have been on the watch list for illegal parts.

Lance got a text back from Keith.  
‘Pidge just keeps looking at me like they feel sorry for me, it’s worse than if they had just yelled. I hate it when people think I can’t do things for myself.’  
‘You’re an adult, but it’s okay to ask for help when you need it.’  
‘I don’t need it.’  
‘bullshit’ Lance shook his head and sent a second text right after the first one ‘I’ll visit when you get out of surgery tomorrow.’ Now that Lance knew where to get Keith’s bike, he just had to make a plan to get it back.

 

 **March 19th 7am**  
**Lance’s House**  
**His father’s office**

 

Lance was sitting at his father's desk, looking at a family photo. Remembering growing up, Lance had never known sadness. The family was close, never in his life had Lance seen two people who loved each other as much as his parents loved each other. And never in his life had he’d witnessed someone’s heart break like his mother’s did when his perfectly healthy father died in an accidental explosion on the military base. It was a small travesty, and the size of the explosion should have killed dozens, and yet only Lance’s father was killed. It felt like a huge blow to the family. He had never let it go. Lance didn’t get much sleep anymore since the accident, and this morning wasn’t all that different. He went through some of his father's old files on the computer. Nothing out of the ordinary there, but then again Lance didn’t think there’d be anything on that old desk top. Lance looked at the digital clock on the desk, Allura would be getting up soon to open the flower shop, he figured he could start making breakfast and coffee and it wouldn't be too early.

 

Downstairs it was quiet, and Lance started up the coffee maker and by the time coffee was done Allura was joining him in the kitchen.  
“Smells good, making eggs and toast?” he nodded, a sleepy smile on his face.  
“Yeah and pancakes and coffee if you want to grab yourself some.” She moved to do just that as Lance flipped a slightly charred pancake in the air and caught it in in the pan.  
“So…” Allura started as she made herself comfortable at the small table in their kitchen where they usually had breakfast. She was putting sugar in her coffee and glancing over to the side at Lance. “Are you going to go see Keith later when he gets out of surgery?” Lance didn’t remember telling her anything about Keith, but he also couldn’t think of any gossip Allura didn’t know well before him, so he tried not to look too much into it.  
“Yeah I was planning on it, did you need me to go into the shop today?” Allura rolled her eyes. She could sit there and pretend like Lance didn’t spend his early mornings and late nights searching for answers to his father’s closed case, but she was above pretending for him. Lance would show up to the flower shop only when he needed extra money or she needed him to deal with a rush of customers, but Allura didn’t delude herself into thinking that Lance actually wanted to be there by any means.  
“I don’t need you for anything, you rarely come in these days.” If he was surprised by her barely hidden accusation, Lance didn’t show it. He was too busy piling food onto twin plates and bringing them to the table. He didn’t respond until he was turning his back to her to get himself a cup of coffee.  
“You know I never wanted to be a florist.”  
“You’re good at it though.”  
“You’re good at horseback riding and can do a full split but I don’t see you teaching equestrian classes or signing up for the winter olympics so maybe you should leave it alone.” Tension grew in the room and Lance gave Allura an apologetic look when he saw how angry her face turned.  
“At least I’m doing what I love, you know I only want what’s best for you.” Lance didn’t dignify that with a response, instead turned his eyes to his pancakes. Allura sighed and brushed her silver bangs out of her eyes. “At least do me a favor and bring some seeds to Alice Holt’s house, and bring the Morning Glories with you when you see Keith. For luck.” Allura finished her breakfast and left Lance sitting alone poking his eggs with a fork, appetite practically gone.

 

 **October 27th ?pm**  
**1.5 Years earlier**  
**Museum of Aeronautics**

 

“So this is what you do?” a rosy cheeked, somewhat impressed Keith asked while gesturing to a miniature model of the original Eurofighter Typhoon. Shiro laughed and shook his head.  
“Well not exactly, that’s a european plane, used by NATO and other international air forces, we don’t use those. I am a pilot, but I can’t really tell you much more than that.” Shiro put his arm around Keith’s shoulders and the younger boy rolled his eyes.  
“Are you trying to be mysterious right now so I’ll like you more?”  
“Is it working?”  
“Cut it out, you’re not that smooth.” Still, Keith leaned into him and allowed Shiro to explain every plane to him in the way an engineer or mechanic would enjoy hearing about planes. It was probably one of the first dates Keith realized he was falling in love. Someone who had never cared about flight or planes, but who was intrigued by mechanics, finally felt a new interest spark in him.  
Keith knew this memory well, Shiro had taken him out dozens of times to museums and places where they both could shine intellectually. Keith became almost instantly aware that this was just a memory in a dream, he was too logical to believe it when he had lived and relived positive memories only to wake and have them be fake. At this point he was just used to it, which was better than being disappointed later. Keith felt like it was all going through slow motion. He actively looked at Shiro, in this memory he looked so much younger and Keith recalled how in their last active moments together Shiro had aged significantly as if he had seen something horrific. His hair was already turning grey in his 20’s. Keith wondered what caused that, and he stared in Shiro’s eyes, they were brown and he wanted to soak in all of his former lovers features before he had to wake up.

“My friend Lance wants to be a pilot too, but I don’t think it’s going to happen anymore.” 

“Mmhm, why not?” Shiro looked very serious, and torn as if he was dying to share something with someone but just couldn’t, as if something was stopping him. 

“He just lost his father, and he’s going through a hard time. That’s why I have to go back home for a little bit next week. We used to work together.” Shiro kept talking in the memory but Keith had forgotten this interaction and now felt strangely about it because he knew Lance. This was a guy he knew. This was a real person who had real feelings, and it was probably for the first time that Keith felt that way. Like a dream Keith blinked and Shiro wasn’t in front of him anymore, but Lance was. Lance was smiling, like he usually did, pretty white teeth gleaming. 

“Why are you here?” Lance laughed.

“Maybe you’re just thinking about me, I think you secretly kind of like me actually” he raised an eyebrow and Keith responded by narrowing his eyes. That wasn’t believable for him, as he would find liking Lance of all people, highly out of character for him. 

“What happened to your dad?”

“Ask me for real” And then everything went blurry. Keith breathed deep, feeling like he was being slowly being pulled from unconsciousness. 


End file.
